蓝星 bluestarstsl's blog

updates!

2012-01-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog something but end up don't know what to write. haha!
going to end my peads posting in manjung after tomorrow, then next will be in putrajaya and i guess i will not have internet during that time... maybe i can study better.
3 more weeks to go to end this posting!

1 more week to go for cny!! yoooo....
shop too much!! so many new shirt, dress, skirt bla bla and accessories!!! unbelievable!
will post up more photos soon!!

have a great year ahead!!! --2012--

2012-01-06T22:37:00.002+08:00

this post is kinda late, but late is better than never!

last year, 2011, has been such a great year for me.

JANUARY
Late for my class for the very first day. Thought that it will be a bad day since i'm having a bad start... but somehow, i passed my NS block!! which i worried the most!

FEBRUARY
Celebrate cny but wasn't a good cny afterall. My uncle was diagnosed with end-stage cancer. but miracle happens. the tumor was able to be suppress and maintain in stable stage.

Celebrate Likthing farewell before she go to USA. We had dinner at Portuguese settlement and had a lot of fun.

MARCH
WENT TO JAY CHOU CONCERT!!!!!! happiest thing in last year!
jealyn, ky, jl, lp, li and me, 6 of us booked and stay in Palace of Golden Horses! had a really wonderful time this the girls!!

APRIL
Was so into lomo and bought my lomo Smena 8M camera. Went to The*Click*Shop for their first workshop! what a april fool of me cause i went there myself, alone!

April is so wonderful!! other than this, I also went to Hot Air Balloon festival!!! which i wanted to go so much! I also went on 2010 but wasn't so happy with the photo i shoot. so i ask my vietnamese friend to go with me. we went there so early in the morning and i also shoot it with my lomo camera. soooo happy with the result!

with smena 8m

you may visit my Flickr for more photo from Smena 8M lomo camera

MAY
On a road trip with Zy, Fern and Mei before their graduation! Went up to Sitiawan, then Cameron Highland and then KL. We have such a great time in Cameron Highland. Definitely one of my best memory there. with the cold weather and also a great place to stay. so enjoying until we forget where we were.

p/s: for more photos please visit my Flickr.

daringly bought the highest pump that i've ever had!

May doesn't just end like that. right before ending of the month, i get to know that i have won Jolin concert tickets. wow!!! unbelievable!!! i don't believe it at first when they phone me. i thought it was a scam or something. later, they ask me to collect the ticket and was confirm via my email. i take part in the contest randomly and doesn't even hope for it!

JUNE
Had my 2nd pro exam in this month! nervous and had phobia of exam, pre exam syndrom etc etc. but i just do my best. during 1 of a station in OSCE exam, Mr. AAA told me this: i want to see you in clinical year! which make me very happy and really motivated me!

JULY
Work part time in Clarins. it's a coincident as well. i was having my holiday after pro exam and then my mom's friend searching a part timer to be a part time beauty adviser. So i went for interview and agree to work for a month! So happy to work there for a month. get to know many great people there. They always praise me as if i was the cleverest people there because i study medicine.

AUGUST
Finally! Passed my pro exam! and smoothly go into 3rd year. had oath taking ceremony and start my posting!
first posting--internal medicine. which senior say it's a good start cause i got the right posting first.

somehow it was quite stressful when go into clinical year. we able to see the 'real' cases and get in touch with the patient. people say doctor is a people to heal. but when we see the patient in pain and we are unable to do anything, i started to doubt if we are really doing so. getting use to it when i am in 3rd posting now!

SEPTEMBER
went to KLCC with my friend for book fest 2011 to see Dr George Lee. bought his first book last year by help of a friend and now i am going to buy this second book and meet him in person! it was a great experience to meet him and interact with him.

other than that, i was enjoying my posting very much! had mooncake festival celebration with ex classmate and also outings with my groupmates

bbq with my melaka friends!

OCTOBER
Bad new during this month. My neighbour had pass away, left 3 of her children and her husband, before they are able to moved to a newly build house. it's saddening but this is life, which always will have separation.

NOVEMBER
Wedding month!! of course not. it's my best friend's wedding!!! she told us about her wedding 1 year ago and had booked me to be at her wedding. but unfortunately, i was having my posting in manjung. however, i decided to go back melaka without letting my parent know about it. and i have to stay over in likthing house which somehow make our relationship become closer.

DECEMBER
Went to mei's graduation and had a great time with her during the weekends. before i go up to kl, since my family had went to Hanoi the day before i took off, had an awesome outings with my girlfriends in melaka! went to Overtime for the very first time and had some light alcohol! spend a lonely lonely christmas which make me decided to get a crazy new year eve with my friends in melaka and nearly become a alcoholic! hahaha... just kidding!!!

LAST DAY OF 2011

i know i look wild. but don't judge a people by its cover! but... i like the new wild me!

have a great year ahead!!! --2012--

i know what you did last last weekend!

2011-12-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

last last weekend... wow! seem like so long ago... right before i end my holiday, likthing came back from KL since she decided not to accept her job anymore! she say her luck wasn't so good recently so she wants to go for praying in temple. i agreed to accompany her and we had plan our whole day!

we had chicken rice as our brunch. we always have brunch instead of breakfast or lunch. i really wish someday after we married, we still able to date and come out for brunch... ok fine out of topic.

after brunch, we go to karaoke session! it has also become a traditional for us to have singing session! really enjoying as we know each other song and can sing together. just nice there are only 2 mic in a room so 2 of us is just nice as well. no need to fight for the mic!

after karaoke session, we went to temple to pray. of course, no wrong if i pray as well. honeslty, i don't have any real religion and i am free thinker. i don't mind praying in any religion but i mind being convert. cause i believe in all religion and i think all religion as its own teaching. the teaching is more important than converted into the religion.

then, we go jonker walk for some food and walk around before we go to Overtime. we have also date Jeslyn, Jialing and Lingpei. i suddenly remember about christine when we reach OT. so i ask her out as well.

it's so enjoying able to gather with friends. likthing and i had starker. there is promotion where we buy 1 starker they will free 1 small size starker to us. somehow the waiter that serve us is being so nice! he even give us other 2 flavor of starker for us to try after we ordered us. maybe he saw this 2 pretty girls so he award some to us.

there is also live band performing. it is more like a cafe than pub. a cafe that serve alcohol. next time i want to try flammingo or something wild! rather than starker.

i think both of us are little drunk and we are also a little high. alcohol really can change a person. we are so relax and seem to forget everything... just enjoying the moment with our friends...

i really miss the time we had together! i had missed the chance to go singapore and celebrate christmas with them! i am definitely going back for new year!!!

p/s:
somehow clinical years make me feel better and i am able to study better as well. maybe because we don't have weekly assessment and that don't stress me. but i will initiative to study myself even there is no exam. to prepare myself so that i will serve my patient better... maybe that's the force that pushing me. hopefully my graduation day is soon!

their graduation

2011-12-27T20:36:00.000+08:00

I went up to PICC on 17th Dec for Mei's graduation. Since my family and relative already went to Hanoi on the day before. Kinda sad because all of my relative went and only my sis, another cousin and I didn't go. Mei told me about her graduation quite some times ago. I also promise that I will go for her graduation. So no matter what I have to go.

I reach there around 11am and her convo is still going on. So I found Chia, Fern's boyfriend and sit with him to wait them to come out. Bought a flower for Mei. I can't just go there empty handed right... While waiting, Mei's uncle and aunty arrived. Together with her cousin and her 2nd brother. Had conversation with Mei's family as I am quite close with them. Mei came out around 12.30pm. Had photo session with her family and friends.

arggg!!! i love her so much!!! she's so cute! so natural! and she bring joy to everyone!

After all the photo session, I drove her back to her house. I stayed with her until she go back to Sabah the next day. Stay over with her in her grandma house together with her grandma. Somehow I seem like becoming one part of her family members.

On the next morning, we had breakfast together and then Mei go to buy some stuff that she wanted to bring over to Sabah.

Mei asked me, how long since we last meet. And i thought back, it has been around half year since we last meet. Our last trip was our Cameron Highland trip. Time really flies..... but friendship stay. It has become more to like family instead of friend.....

Merry Christmas updates

2011-12-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

Christmas is going to end in 25 minutes.
I have nothing better to do in the special occasion. went to church this morning with grandparents and then stay at home whole day long.
Getting use to the life i am having now, which is peace. But i really miss my friends in Melaka.
Some of them went to Singapore to celebrate, some was bored because I wasn't around and nobody to accompanied.

Christmas remind me of the craziest Christmas I had few years back.
I was in foundation that time. I remember I was going to have exam on 2 days after christmas.
So we did not celebrate christmas at all and only me and roomate was at home.

I wasn't satisfied at all cause we only stay at home whole day to study.
At christmas midnight, my net friend ask me out. He was bored at home as well.
So i agree. out of my expectation! cause we never meet before.
Kinda weird but its enjoying... at least there is some people who accompany each other during this special day.
I wonder how come I was so daring that time... never thought that he might be the wolf and eat me off. Luckily he is a good guy.

Merry Christmas!!

*updates*
just right after i post my blog, my cousin phone me asking for another friend's phone number.
my friend was my tuition friend during secondary and too bad i don't have her phone number. so i say i try to ask other friends that know her.
i went to her fb and post and ask for her phone number from her friends.
and then suddenly my cousin phone me and say: YOU ARE MY SAVIOR!
hahahahahaha!! i was confuse! i didn't do anything!

cousin says: you posted in fb right?
me: yeah?
cousin: she saw it and open the wooden door for me!! luckily!! she nearly go sleep already and she saw that post.
me: owww.... *only realize what's happening." fb really keng!
cousin: yalor! you are my savior la! i owe you once!!
me: hahahaha... never mind. as long as you can go in your house.
cousin: i nearly thinking of going to stay in hotel already!!

well... this is how i end my christmas! hahaha... really very funny!!

choices

2011-11-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

why there are so many choices that i need to choose everyday? why can't i just have all of it? or both of it...

have to choose where to go for my posting first so that i will be able to be in sitiawan and melaka for cny. cause there is no extra holiday for me except for 2 official public holidays. if i am in sitiawan during that time, i will not be able to go back and celebrate with my friends in melaka. cause its freaking 5 hours drive! and my stupid idiot college have no brain at all for not letting us to have 1 week holida instead. well, no choice. cause we are the MINORITY! don't hope they will have any consideration at all!

if i do so, christmas i will be in sitiawan. doing nothing at all. maybe without internet again and all alone. and next 1 week holiday after exam, what should i do? holiday? or work part time? i want a holiday break, but... who to go with...

seem like i have no friend to do things together. this have her own reason and that have their own plan.
i belong to nobody and nowhere. sigh...

no life at all. no experience at all. no memory at all....
is't what it have to be because of my professional? that i have to give up everything?

all alone

2011-11-24T13:53:00.000+08:00

it's kinda sad when you realize you are getting far and far away from the group you use to be with.
a group of friends the you are comfortable to be with...
when you try so hard to fit in it, and then realize you are actually being push away...
trying so hard to have my own friends but its hard.
there is no friend in clinical years. all of them have their own group and me? just tagging along whenever i can...

while hoping my own gang of friends will always remember me, but i am the one that being forget all the time... being left out, being forgotten...
and i am the last one to get to know everything...

all alone again... maybe next year will be same as last year......

best friend's wedding and gathering

2011-11-18T13:47:00.000+08:00

I went back to Melaka on Friday afternoon and reach around 5pm. I have no where to stay as I didn’t tell my parents. Yee Zin let me stay in her house because no other friends are willing to let me stay over their house. She says: this is the first time she invite friend to stay over. I say: this will also be the last too. I am so glad that I stay over at her house, knowing her family members.

I woke up at 6am the next morning and Yee Zin woke up earlier than me as she can’t sleep well the night before. She says she keep on dreaming and not able to sleep well. So we had simple breakfast at her house. Around 7am, some of her friends had arrived; make up artist came after that. While setting up her make up, weiling and her gang came as well. Only then her friends that plan the game to fool bridegroom came. So we help them to prepare those games.

The bridegroom and his brothers came around 10am. So we started the same with lots of fun. Luckily all the brothers are quite spotting and played all the game that we design. At last, Yee Zin’s husband reaches the doorstep and asks Yee Zin to married him by singing a song. I can clearly see Yee Zin is so touched and tears in her eyes.

Then tea ceremony to her parents and relative before she go over to the bridegroom’s house, and all of us, her sisters followed as well. Her friend is supposed to be bridesmaid but maybe she was too shy. I become the one who follow and help her to hold her gown.

After we reached his house, after all the traditional ceremony and have some rest over there, we went off after seeing everything is settled. 2 of her husband’s brother send us back to Yee Zin’s house as our car parked there. When we reach her home, no one was at home. I guess they had gone for lunch. Of course, with lots of photos in her husband house!

So we headed to lunch in Korean Restaurant as what we planned earlier. I bought 2 coupons from dealmates weeks before but have no chance to eat together as we are unable to fix a time. Finally we had it today with 6 of us including weiling, jialing, Christine, ling pei, lichen and me. We really enjoy ourselves very much. It’s a really great time for us to gather together.

After lunch, I have no where else to go so I hang over in Christine house, until likthing is back from her SIA interview. She missed the morning session because of the SIA interview that she decided to go last minutes. She promised to let me stay over her house for Saturday and Sunday. She got back earlier as I expected. So Christine and I went to find likthing at around 6pm. She wanted to go for Yee Zin’s wedding buffet dinner at her husband house. We were telling Yee Zin that we will not be going to the buffet as weiling and the gang is not going. If they aren’t going, I can’t go myself as it will be very weird and I am all alone. I wanted to go actually and luckily likthing want to go. Maybe she had missed the morning session so se want to go the buffet, and also we haven’t had our dinner.

We go Yee Zin husband’s house without letting her know and gave her a surprise. She was in the kitchen when we arrived. She is so glad that we showed up and so do I. I think we made the right choice by going to the buffet, because she was all alone and those who showed up in the buffet were mostly relative and friends from her husband side. All the food had finished when we show up at around 8pm. But they had gone to order more food over some restaurant. So we sat inside the house and chit chat with Yee Zin. She is so happy we showed up. We also had lots of photos in her bride room after dinner.

On Sunday morning, likthing and I had nothing to do. So after our brunch in Windmill, we went to MP to get a card for Yee Zin. She says we were her bridesmaid so we no need to give red packets for her dinner. As we didn’t prepare any gift for her, so all of us give her some little red packets as wishes for her and also a card written and signed by all of us.

During the wedding dinner, all of us sat together, including weiling, lingpei, jialing, lichen, kuanyun, Christine, likthing and I. We really had lots of fun the whole night, crazily taking pictures and lots of laughter. Everything that came out from out mouth can become a joke and laugh by everyone.

During ‘yam seng’ ceremony, the couple and their family will walk from a table to another table. When they reach our table, her brother-in-law forced us to have little alcohol in our drinks. So all of us had it, and then we all shouted ‘yam seng’. I think out table is the best, the most funny, the loudest voice and the happiest table to wish both of them.

We really had lots of fun. Even the waitress that served our table became our friend. The aunty was so funny! She will joke and make fun of us while serving the food to us. We even waited all the guess had left only then we take more pictures with Yee Zin.

Somehow I really feel 依依不舍 when Yee Zin says she has to go back. Some kind of like my sister is married to another family. Now I finally understand what that kind of feeling is. Even though we still can meet as usual, call out and had dinner or a meal together, she is now people’s wife. No matter how minor it is, there will be some differences.

But I am very glad for Yee Zin. As this is what she wished. She shared a lot of things with me even after our secondary school life. I am glad as well as we still keep in touch, and able to celebrate such a great day of hers and make it one of this history in my life.

After her wedding, all of us went to Wing’s Café. Since it’s hard for us to gather, have some chit chat there and more laughter. Even though it’s tired but we are happy. Last time all of us together were during likthing’s 21^st birthday, which was around 3 years back.

On Monday morning before I headed back to Sitiawan, I have breakfast with likthing in the old shop beside our secondary school and had ‘mian fen gao’. It was a shop that we will always have our lunch whenever we have to stay back in school. Finally I am able to taste it after so long. The first time I had it after my secondary school life, and the taste and still the same.

Friendship is something that I treasure; even I have so scarified something in my life, some part of my life. I won’t regret in the decision I’ve made. I am not sure if others are willing to do the same as me. As I have accept the fact that people will not treat you totally as how you treat them. It will be much easier and happier if we don’t look out for returns. I give all my best wishes to Yee Zin and hope she live a happily ever after life......

15^th November 2011 10.15pm

high quality photo credit to Christine Koh

too sensitive

2011-11-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

kinda regret when i view those photos, blogs and a lot more...
which make me feel really left out.
seem like i am not part of your life, i missed a lot event.

somehow i used to being alone. not a big deal after all.
get use to it and life just moved on.
i never have my real own gang, either i am just a visitor to the gang, or just an outsider.

even the treatment is different. just feel that i am treated differently.
birthday celebration and present? that make me jealous.
guess that i will continue being a thicked face person stick around you.

ignore it. i'm just being too sensitive tonight.

surgery posting

2011-10-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

i'm in my surgery posting now for the third week. have been enjoy my posting very much but wasn't so happy cause we are not in the same group as IM. but still, i will try to enjoy myself as much as possible.

has been stay at home seen last wednesday and refuse to go and stay in samudera beach resort cause so use to staying at home. last week, we were asked to go to Serdang hospital as Dr Ngoo went to motor GP and there were no doctor in terendak to teach us. so AAA want us to go Serdang hospital as there will have more patients and we can learn more.

so i travel to cyberjaya on tuesday right after class. clerked a patient in serdang hospital on that day! on the next day, so nervous if i have to present to AAA. he arrived at around 11am. keep asking 'who want to present?', 'where is your case?' for so many times yet nobody want to volunteer. i guess everyone is scared of him.

so i volunteer, he ask: where is your patient? luckily my patient had back from scanning cause he wasn't as his bed this morning. after present my patient's history, he ask me to examine the patient. i was so regret that i did not revise it the night before cause i was so tired traveling from melaka to cyberjaya. so i tried my best examine the patient. and of course, there is bunch of questions coming from AAA and keep asking me why i do this why i do that, what had i missed, what else to inspect/examinine. it's like the real life of medical school. i guess we has been too comfortable in previous posting.

then all of us was so down cause we feel we are so stupid. i shouldn't be saying i was happy cause not only me don't know how to answer the question but the whole group can't answer his questions as well. means that i am not the worst and i have chance to get better. and this motivate me a lot!

my case was acute pancreatitis which is the core knowledge in surgery. i guess AAA get satisfied when i got this case and we have 1 more case for BST and he release us. we get 2 days leave in exchange for going to serdang hospital.

i am so satisfied as i am able to present my very first presentation in surgery and i am the first one to present after all. and i get 7.5/10 of marks. it was quite a surprise as i thought i did badly. when he wrote the marks in my log book, i am so satisfied. i had prepare for the worst as in getting less than 5. so i happily go back melaka after i get the information of my patient as this is be my case write up as well. and at night, i get a surprise! so so soooo happy!!!

it was very frustrating as the nurses in Serdang hospital is not helpful at all. i tried to ask them to teach me to use the computer system in their hospital and all of them actually ignore me. yes! IGNORE. don't say i am rude or did not ask permission or whatsoever. cause i tried my best to approach them, smile when i talk to them, saying can you pleaseeeeeeeee..... and their reply was: a while i am busy, can you wait a while, 'walk pass me', ignore what i just say.....

and there is a HO who are totally unprofessional at all!! when i asked her, she just ignore me and when my groupmate approach her which is a male, she teach him so happily wtf! hiao to the max

finally after getting through all the challenges, i get the information that i wanted, by the help of a male staff nurse and a chinese HO. don't say i am racist but chinese tend to help chinese more. didn't have anything in my stomach from morning until 3.30pm. i am hungry to the max that i can eat a cow. guess that's the life of a doctor. but... i am not a doctor yet!!!

had a very simple birthday celebration with Sin Toun in cyberjaya on the day before!

enjoy my 2 days holiday with outing with likthing and vicky. and that really make me regret as i should spent more time on study.

helped vicky to choose her wedding dress on last sunday! i'm so happy she's getting married, by the right way, not due to pregnancy or whatsoever accident. haha!! and then only i realize i was at manjung during her wedding. i'm so going to break my head thinking how to come back to attend her wedding!!!

went into OT on Monday to witness a open herniotomy. such a great experience. even though we have to stand for 3 freaking hours. this is only herniotomy, what about heart surgery??? 10 hours???

get to witness OGDS and colonoscopy on Tuesday as the patient i clerk accidentally have to go through the procedure. an when Dr Ngoo ask who clerk this patient, i answer and he say i get to go into OT! such a surprise. but even if Dr Ngoo is very kind but he is strict and stingy in giving marks! my case presentation with him only get 6.5. such a disappointment. AAA can give higher marks than him. this make me like AAA more now even though i was complaining about him few weeks ago! haha...

something about IM exam, i get Dr Nor Izham as examiner and he just let us to clerk and examine the patient and present the case to him. it went very very well and he say well done!

i accompanied my dad to 2 conferences during the few days before the next posting and it was interested as well!

You can shed tears that she is gone

2011-10-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

my neighbor had passed away yesterday morning, the one i wrote about 4 months ago.(here)

it was quite a surprise actually. everything was normal when i pass by their house that morning when i went to terendak hospital. then in the evening when i came home, i saw a paper with name and arrow showing direction to some house, where you can find it when there is people pass away. it wasn't there in the morning so i was quite curious about it. i didn't have to chance to see clearly.

so when i took the junction to my house, i saw there are people in my neighbor's house trying to set up the tent. only then i know she passed away.

went to pay respect this morning before sending my sister off to her college. her eldest son is my sister classmate in primary school.

how sad to think of her kids are still so young and she already passed away. her second son which have autism was crying and ask why his mother leave him... he has autism but he is clever, and his mom spent so much time on him so that he will be able to live a normal life... how much a mom can scarified for her son...

when there is funeral, it's full of sorrow. i don't know should i define it as good or bad, as she finally freed from all the suffer, but being left behind her family, that's sad.

it's so hard to face separation.

after some time, we will get use to it. as if they have went to somewhere else for holiday... just like my friend Sandra, my grandfather and grandmother, and my neighbor.......

You can shed tears that she is gone
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-Anon-

recaps

2011-10-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog very long ago... but i keep procrastinate and now i have forgotten what i wanted to wrote in the first place.

basically its all about my clinical years...

witnessed lumbar puncture and IJC insertion last 2 weeks.

OGDS last friday...

and lots of angiogram procedure as 1 of our teacher is a cadiologist.

i consider myself to be very lucky to be able to witness all of this even i am only 3rd year.

went out for dinner in asam pedas claypot for second time with my ex-classmate, which include wanda, gaya, tasha and alyse. it's so fun to see them back again.

friend is just you have things to talk after didn't meet for so long!

drive all the way from terendak to jialing's house for BBQ session. without LP kinda weird. it's like our thing. had a lot of BBQ this year!

went to duck mee stall for ice after bbq.

don't ask me where there written 3.6%. i have totally no idea!

it was given by Dr Rosman during clinic session...

i enjoy being in terendak because i enjoy food. but my groupmates aren't eating type of person, so i mix with another groups better. we eat on time. right on that particular time, we all will be hungry.

chicken rice, nasi kampung, rojak etc etc etc... delicious!!!

this was during preparation before OGDS. just a few pic of it.

when surgery come, it will be tonnes of pic of this i guess!!

btw! long case exam on this wednesday and my examiner is Dato Dr Nor Izham!!!! and it will be in putra specialist hospital! omg omg!!! wish me luck!!! first exam ever in clinical year!!!

1st week in terendak

2011-09-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

Lack of update lately. Mainly due to no internet connection in Terendak camp, secondly is due to my busy and hectic schedule in clinical years. Had a long weekend break but I wasted my Friday to work part time in Clinique. Then I was so regretted whole day there, so I decided to not work on Saturday and Sunday.

In Terendak Hospital was fun! The doctors there are so good, compared to those in Putrajaya. They really treat us like student and not HOs or MOs. The most important thing is, in Terendak Hospital, there aren't any Hos or Mos!!! haha! We are like the doctors there and no need to see those people faces like in Putrajaya. Some of the nurses there were helpful as well.

Do. Rosman and Dr. Ali are the doctors there. Dr. Rosman was kinda hot and he is chinese looking. When we saw him for the first time, I thought he was chinese, until he greet us in Islamic way wtf. He is quite funny as well. Dr. Ali is very very funny. He is not kiasu type unlike Dr. Rosman. So happy go lucky and during his class, it's fun and enjoying.

We actually act like a HO in hospital. Every morning we have to clerk the patient and give updates and progression to the doctor as we go for ward rounds. Some time we feel pity to both of the doctors cause they have to take history and do physical examination themselves unlike in HPJ there is HO and MO which had done the job.

On Tuesday, we have class in Putra Hospital. Not Putrajaya but Putra. The Melaka Southan hospital which later change its name to Putra Hospital. Dr Nor Izham, which is a cardiologist is teaching us once a week. So that day I drove my groupmate there as they are not familiar with the place. We hand lunch at mamak stall near Hang Tuah street. There is a disable boy selling tissue there. He is not only disable but also mentally retarded I think. No other words than retarded? sound so rude! And so we saw he is walking towards us, he was selling tissue and was saying Rm1 for 1 pack of tissue. Even though it's quite expensive, but we still bought it. He is much more better than those who are asking for money than really work hard to earn money. He is pity, but I doubt he want people to feel pity towards him.

After lunch we went to Putra hospital and Dr Izham bring us to a patient, as us to take his history and examine him. He had stroke few days ago and his signs and symptoms are obvious, but he is recovering as well. After that we have to present to Dr Izham and he will correct us if we were wrong. Then we encounter another patient in his clinic. She is a chinese lady who came to get medicine. Dr Izham out of sudden ask us to go into his clinic and ask us to examine this chinese lady. When his chest wall is exposed, the heart beat is so obvious. We can see the heart hitting the wall. When palpate 4 ares, there is apex beat, parasternal heave and palpable aortic and pulmunary area. When auscultate, there is mixture of murmur, S1 and S2 heart sound and it was so loud. This chinese lady has ventricular septal defect (VSD), probably for a very long time but didn't seek and treatment. But she still can live a very healthy normal life until recently she feel uncomfortable so she is seeking medical help. How often we can see a real life case of this? Even though VSD is very common, most of them will get surgical treatment when they were small, or after born, depends on the defect itself. I feel so lucky to have the chance to see and experience it.

At night, I join Jac and her group for Mid-Autumn celebration. We light lantern and also share a piece of mooncake among 10 people I guess.

There was a very funny incident when we had ward round on either Wednesday or Thursday. A patient had a crush on Dr Rosman! We were doing ward round in the female ward and there was this patient with right side eye defect. Dr Rosman was asking the patient to look his finger and follow the movement of the finger. In the same time we are suppose to hold the patient's chin so that she will not move around by turning her head. But when Dr Rosman want to hold her chin, she keep avoiding. Until Dr Rosman tell her: let me hold your chin. But the patient was soooo shy and she put down her head. It was so obvious and she say she is shy. My room mate clerk the patient and she told me the day before, the female patient say that Dr Rosman is handsome. hahahaha... and she actually only few years older than Dr Rosman but he call her Mak Cik!!! wtf!!! Of course it's because he didn't realize the age difference and he actually look a lot younger than his age. But still!!! This let me learn that don't simply call people uncle or aunty. It will be better if address people as Miss or Mr.

On Wednesday night we went out for dinner and also birthday celebration for Ehsan. We were actually split into 2 sub group in Terendak and most of them are from group B. My group was boring. I have to say that. When we already plan to go for dinner in Melaka town, I am the only girl from group A as the other 3 of them aren't joining. It was so disappointing. Why can't we go out as a group? Well, no comment. But I had fun with another group and guys from my group. The asam pedas claypot was awesome! Totally worth it as we don't know the way and was wrongly guided by Syue's friend. At last when we found it, it was around 8pm and all of us are starving! I feel hungry now when think about it. Should bring my friend there and try it one day. I actually pass by that area so many times but we never bother to go and try the food there. The stall is open by a chinese-muslim. He is so chinese look and we were all discussing about him after dinner. Cause he speak fluent Malay!!! and he understand chinese when a chinese customer talk to him in chinese. All of us get curious and test him. As in order plain water in chinese and my friend talk to him in chinese. At last all of us can't stand it anymore and Ehsan ask him if he is chinese or malay. Hahahahahaha... totally hilarious! He say he is chinese and has a 11 years old son. ok fine! haha...

Bought a cake along the way back from dinner when we suddenly realize nobody actually help Ehsan pay his dinner bill. Guys are so useless!! So we gave him a birthday surprise! He was in toilet when we were at his room. -____-!!!! All of us really enjoy so much!

痛

2011-09-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

为什么需要有痛?

今天上完课就到医院去，当时已经是下午5点多了。去医院是为了准备明天的报告演示。
当时有几个实习医生还在轮班。跟他们了打个招呼，其中一个医生很友善的告诉我有几个不错的病列可以去看看。

另外一个实习医生说他们正要为一个病人输入中心静脉压(CVP)，问我要不要去看。既然有机会，当然要去观察他们如何输入CVP。

病人是一个末期肺癌患者，看起来大约60岁，很无助的躺在病床上。有好几位实习医生站在床边协助。实习医生小心翼翼的找病人右手边的静脉，找得并不容易。终于决定要输入中心静脉压，可是事了很多次都不成功。虽然已经在病人的手上注射了局部麻醉，病人还是觉得痛。虽然病人非常合作，可是就是可以很明显的听到他忍住痛楚的声音。

试了两次，终于放弃。实习医生决定用左手输入中心静脉压，还好一次就顺了输入。可是当他们要把病人躺下，取得中心静脉压的读数，病人一直说很痛。我们也不知道他那里痛。也许是他的癌细胞扩散到骨头所以觉得痛。要取得中心静脉压的读数需要一点时间。我们很努力劝病人在忍以下，再过一下子就好了。他也很合作的忍住痛楚。可是过了不久病人又喊痛，还说救命，求求我们赶快让他坐起来。

当时我很无助，不知道要怎样劝他，也不知道要怎样安慰他、帮助他。为什么要有癌症？难道就因为他抽烟，现在他所受的痛楚都是应该的？都是报应？我心里也有点挣扎，好像有两人在争论。一个天使，一个恶魔。一个在可怜他，另一个却说这是他应得的报应，为什么要可怜他？

其实这是我第二次见证中心静脉压的输入过程。第一次的老公公也是一直说痛，我也只好跟他说，一下子就好了，在一下子......

为什么过程一定要有痛？可以不可以是没有痛的？我真得很希望他们不会有痛的感受。

医生不是应该减轻病人的痛楚吗？为什么却好像在增加他们的痛楚呢？

Book Fest 2011- Dr. George Lee

2011-09-05T00:05:00.001+08:00

Lets rewind back to last Saturday, which I really hope I have a doraemon to help me do it.

Went to Book Fest 2011 in KLCC together with Lee since he's going too. Not really confident to go by myself so I tag along with him. I want to see Dr. George Lee which is a urologist and is teaching in Monash now. I first read his article in Sinchiew newspaper and I really like it. It's sentimental and mostly about his own feeling towards his life, work, family and so on. He is launching his new book on that day. Last year he came out with his first book "make each day count", I didn't make it to his book launching event and didn't get to meet him and get his signature. But I am lucky enough to have my friend, Xiang to bought it and get his signature. His first book articles are mostly same in the newspaper, it's like a collection of his article.

So I went and see him in person. It's so fun to hear his talk and I actually recorded it. I just want to show it to my aunt because she likes him too! She also read his article in newspaper too. She actually in love with his words and become worst than me. She even phoned me and talk about his book!

I bought 4 books in total, all of his books. 1 was published last year which I helped my aunt to buy it, another 3 were for me, my aunt and Xiang. He bought for me last year and this year it's my turn to return to him. All with signature!

He has a huge amount of reader and fans, some is his patients and some is his student. The autograph session last for at least 1 hour. The queue was so long. He actually say 'sorry for waiting' to most of the people. Had photograph with him too! So excited!

While waiting for his signature, a guy call Frederick talk with me. Out of sudden he was behind me. It was a girl behind me when queuing. I have no idea when he appear behind me.
He says: you're so greedy, bought so many books.
I answered (out of surprise, cause a stranger talking to me): oh... I helped people to buy.

Then he continue the conversation asking my name and his name and if I were still studying or working and so on... Well, it's very weird and kind of awkward. I just can't keep quiet and don't talk to him, it's not polite. My friend wasn't beside me so I can't get out of it. He was actually the guy who give support to Dr. George Lee when it was open to the crowd to ask question. He says Dr. George life value is very good, as he still come back to Malaysia after so many years in oversea.... etc. I don't know why he talk to me, even ask me to talk photo of him with George Lee and ask me email him. He actually reply my email saying he will add me in fb and ask me to approve him. Too bad, so far I guess he still can't find me in fb. haha!

I was so happy last weekend! Meet him in person are great!

p/s: left out a small little part. I actually meet my online chat friend. practically doesn't count as 'meet' cause only i saw him. he didn't saw me. we never meet before, never have face to face interaction but i just know it's him for the very first sight. sms and ask if he was in KLCC and he was so surprise i know his location. he actually check if his phone got auto check-in in fb but not. HAHAHA!!! well. it's so funny, and surprising as well. this is what call fate.

fall

2011-08-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

when is the last time i fall down? as in walking and and trip and fall down.
i have forgotten the last time i fall, and today, i fall down.
stretched my hand and it's just a small scratch on it...
what happened to me in this week?

mermaid princess

2011-08-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

people just leave, without reason...

i'm just like a mermaid, quietly stand by your side.... one day, i just disappear like bubble (if you ever read about mermaid princess)

1st week in HPJ

2011-08-20T20:48:00.002+08:00

I guess I am just a lucky girl!! I get to do venepuncture on the very first week of my first posting. I reach at HPJ quite early in the morning for ward work. It's not compulsory but by experience, usually there are a lot of procedures to be done in the morning. Although my class will only start at 10am, I was at HPJ before 8am.

So I saw Dr. Lee, who either a MO or HO is pushing the trolley around so I asked if I can follow her and see how she do the procedure. She just agree easily. So I watched her doing venepuncture, blood gases arterial puncture and so on. After a few patient, she asked if I want to try. I told her that I have not learn any of this before. She says it's ok and she just let me try.

The first patient that I took was a suspected TB patient. He was sitting in isolated room and after we wear glove and mask, we went in. He is a chinese old man and he is very kind. We let him know we are going to take his blood and he say: sure no problem! So I tied the tourniquet, locate and feel for the vein and then I just insert the needle and draw out the blood. This uncle vein is easily to be seen as all his vein around his arm is so obvious.

picture taken: http://www.sciencephoto.com/image/274694/530wm/M5320470-Gloved_hands_placing_a_syringe_in_a_vein-SPL.jpg

The second patient is an Indian, his vein is not easily to be seen. So after I tied the tourniquet I feel for the vein and confirm the place. This time, we use another method which is using vacuum tubes. Dr. Lee says vacuum tube usually is harder as we have to stabilized it before we fix the tube, she even says she actually failed in her OSCE as she is unable to stabilize the needle. And again, everything went smoothly as I am able to stabilize the needle and took the blood.

picture taken: http://ohceps.oxfordtextbookofmedicine.com/content/vol1/issue1/images/small/graphic131.gif

This patient was clerk by the Chinese HO doctor that I mention about the other day, who left me eat alone and he join his colleague. So he went into the room when I was trying to take the blood from the patient. The patient was sitting and this HO says: Usually for student who just started to take blood, we advise the patient to lie on bed. So I asked: Should I ask him to lie down? He answered: Nah... It's ok never mind. -_-!!! so what's the point you telling me all that?

After taking the blood, we went out from the room. I was talking with Dr Lee and this HO patted my shoulder and says: Now you know how to draw blood! Very good! . In my heart was like: wth?! Am I that close with you?? You actually patted my back?! Wow! What a surprise!! Not even Dr Lee did that to me. As in I am already very friend with him...

Well, just when I started to work/study in hospital, you can see lots of different type of people in the ward, including those doctors, HOs, MOs. Some HO seem like look down on us, they will have that kind of look when we were in the ward, as in they never be a medical student and walk like us. Some are very helpful, just like the one who gave us 'motivational talk' the other day, and especially Dr Lee who teach me and let me try to take venepuncture.

I actually also witnessed and assisted in CVP line insertion. There is an old patient who was admitted on Thursday night and he is Chinese. When Dr. Malik doing ward round, he asked me to help him translate to chinese and take some brief history from the old patient. He is 90 years old and Dr. Malik think he might not understand Malay or English well. I was unexpected and so not prepare for him to ask me to translate. But I still tried my best.

When a HO is doing the CVP line insertion, she can't speak chinese either. She trying to tell this patient to move more to the left side so she can insert it into his right arm, but she can't speak chinese so I helped her to tell the old uncle to move to the left. She actually thanked me! For the very first time, I feel it is not wasted for me to learn chinese. I can speak different languages and broken Hokkien which really helps me in my future. When inserting the CVP line, the patient complain of pain. I really feel helpless. The only thing I can tell him is we are going to be done very soon, please bare with us for a little while.

Are doctors helping the patients? I can hardly answer now......

For the first week in HPJ, I've

witnessed in Echocardiogram and Lung function test.
performed 2 venepuncture. 1 by needle, 1 by vacuum tube.
assisted in CVP line insertion and blood gases arterial puncture.

Looking forward to more procedure to be done!!!

why you become a doctor?

2011-08-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

Don't tell me that you want to be a doctor is to help people in sick. It's all nonsense.

The second day in Putrajaya hospital, maybe I have gain more confident. A HO there actually give some 'motivational talk' to my group. Well, it wasn't a formal talk, it's like a discussion among the students and HO. He tell us his experience during his clinical years. I guess we all look so blur that's why he wanted to help us. Maybe he is trying to show his rank as HO compare to us medical student, but I want to think it in positive way. At least he is much more better than other HO and MO who look us with weird eyesight. As if they didn't went through the same route as us.

I actually approached a Chinese HO. End up he give me bad impression of him, and if he is really clever, I will not approach him anymore. We went down to cafeteria together as I am the only Chinese in my group and the Malays are fasting. So I thought I can have lunch with him and know more about the hospital and also clinical years. I actually eat alone at the table in cafeteria, as he went to join his 'own group' and leave me alone. I was like: wtf? you can at least introduce me to your friends or ask me to sit together with you guys to have lunch together. Fine. End of story about him. Really a bad impression.

Seen a lot of cases this 2 days as I tag along the doctor for ward rounds. I can actually learn a lot during the ward rounds and the doctor that ward round today really reach us a lot. Today ward round was done by Dr. Malik. He was funny and a little sarcastic but he is nice and funny. Very interesting during ward round and will not feel bored at all.

I was the only one following them for ward round as my group mates have gone nowhere. There is a Bangladeshis who admitted into the ward and was suspect of having dengue fever. But end up having another diagnosis which is Rheumatic heart disease, which is a very rare case in Malaysia. Even the doctors were so interested in the case. So after listening and discussion about this Bangladeshis illness, Dr. Malik was asking us what's the management for this patient. I didn't expect that he will as me as well. He asked my name, I answered. He say: my name is M and yours is M too! making everyone there laugh out loud. He also say this case is very good for us to learn, especially medical student, as it is rare.

First time ever I really heard a murmur. But there are still a lot of things I still not understand. What diastolic murmur, systolic murmur, S2 bla bla blaaaa... No idea how to differentiate it, even HO don't really know how to differentiate it. Cause it's rare!

The treatment for this patient is valve replacement. It is definitely a very expensive treatment. He has this disease maybe because he has previous history of Rheumatic disease but didn't get a proper treatment when he was young. Mainly because Bangladesh has poor health care system. He can't receive this treatment mainly because he is a Bangladeshi, and it's cost effective. When his employer know his illness, he will be sure to be send back to Bangladesh.

This is so sad. He can't get treatment and he has to live with it for the rest of his life, who don't know will last for how long. We trying to communicate with him, and Dr. Malik actually trying to explain to him about his illness by drawing the heart and valve. We doubted that he understand a single thing we are saying. His face is so clueless and he seem start to worry what's happening on him.

So, are you helping those in sick? No! Cause you can't give them treatment that they need because of so many other factors. He will never know how he died. He has family and children in Bangladesh waiting for him to go back. He come over here to work so hard just to earn a living, yet he is diagnose with this rare disease.

Fair? Totally not.
Help people in sick? Can't.
God? Seem has gone nowhere during this time.
Life? This is life.

1st day in Putrajaya Hospital

2011-08-15T23:28:00.000+08:00

Went to Putrajaya Hospital can have CME session in the morning about dialysis. After that, we follow Dr. Shu to go ward around. It suppose to be Bedside Teaching (BST) but because she has work round to do, so we just follow her to go around the ward.

We have seen many cases in a day, in that particular ward. all type of disease that we have study last 2 years all appear right in front of us. Just that we doesn't need to present the case as the MO and HO will present it. But we still have to learn how to clerk a patient and present it to the doctors.

Haven't really clerk a patient yet as we don't know how we should do it. And we also don't have the courage and brave enough to do it without any guidance, since we are still new to clinical year. I was hoping any of our senior can teach us but can't see any of them. Guess that I have to ask help from the MO and HO.

And again, today, I still doubt if I really have prepare of all this. Not all question that ask by physician can be answer by us, including those MO and HO. Yet I feel I am not well prepared, including during task based learning (TBL).

Trying to study after class ended at 6 something in the evening, but was too tired. Had a little nap and yet it's so tiring... How to face the next 2 years if I am still like this?

孤僻

2011-08-14T18:55:00.000+08:00

孤僻到自己佩服自己的地步了！仿佛世界就只剩下我一个人。
快要有忧郁症了吧！情绪转变非常快。

生活里好像没剩下几个朋友了。有人问：为什么不去认识新的朋友？
老了，要认识新的朋友也很费神费力。
当然会有认识新的朋友，只是有时不会很投缘。

我把友情看得太重，最后只会把自己弄得伤痕累累。
也许是太在乎、太敏感了。

希望会有人来安慰我、开解我，盼呀盼也没有那个人的出现。
只有自己的多情。

电脑里的歌重复播着，来来去去就是那几首，听到闷了。
原来我就是这么闷的一个人。

几年前的我去了哪？找不回自己了。

写完了，心情也好一点了，至少恢复正常点。
心，还是闷闷的。

when?

2011-08-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

maybe i am just too sensitive, maybe i ask too much in a relationship...
when only then i will find someone which will think of me and care of my feelings more than i do?

tears stimulator

2011-08-13T01:13:00.001+08:00

no idea why i feel like crying... maybe i am too stress? or maybe jay's songs is tears stimulator...
sometimes is good to admit that i am weak... but i don't want to be weak.
i guess age is just another cause of becoming weak... not only physically but also mentally...

i don't know why i feel like crying, don't know i cry for what... but it's the feeling for now.
i'm having this kind of feeling for this whole week...

大学第三年

2011-08-09T16:44:00.000+08:00

大学第三年的第一天，好像蜜月期。十一点之前就上完课了。还以为会开始很忙碌的生活，可是第一个星期只是有关去医院的简介。

开始害怕也开始担心。好像前两年所读的全忘记了。不知道在医院时，不会回答教授的问题会不会被骂得狗血淋头。所以乘这个星期还没那么繁忙，我还是好好的复习最基本的知识。

学院还是还没安排我们的住宿。真得很笨！教授和学校管理员没有沟通好令到我们还是没有住宿，还好我可以住在我朋友的家，要不然真不知道要睡哪里。

未来的路好像很模糊。已经开始在害怕每一天的到来。
我......可以面对一切吗？

Oath taking ceremony

2011-08-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

Today we had a Oath Taking Ceremony as we are going into clinical years, and we signed the oath.
Officially i am 3rd year medical student and I will be going to hospital soon.
The first posting I get is Internal Medicine. Well, seniors say Internal Med is hell, I should see if its really a hell.
There are also people saying after we finish our Pro-exam and start with Internal Med is an advantage for us. Because we get to revise back what we studied for pro-exam and its easier for us to remember back the knowledge.

Timetable has out but we don't even know where is our exactly posting. Even though I know I get Internal Med but I don't know if my subgroup is assigned to Terendak Hospital or Putrajaya Hospital.
Yes! This is the type of management of my college. They even didn't provide accommodation for us during orientation week and next week. how stupid!

Luckily I stayed with Ocean in her room where she is sharing with Sin Toun.
I think I am going to stay with her for next week again...

These few days lot of people saying I look different, as in my outer look.
Some say I am prettier and some say I look stunning.
Hopefully my result for this year will be STUNNING too!!

routine

2011-08-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

why i have to go through this routine everyday?!
wake up-self motivation-bad things happened-double standard-discrimination-unfairness-tired-demotivated-sad-emo-getting better-sleep
and then everything repeats

when

2011-08-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

i want to be strong, and when i fall down, i'll try as hard as possible for me to stand up back.
yet everyday when i am trying to encourage myself to be stronger and be better, i am getting bad news and slap by reality and i fall again.
when? when everything of this will get over.
please be over as soon as possible, cause i don't know how far i can take it anymore... how much i can handle anymore......

我要過多久才能好呢

2011-08-04T00:26:00.001+08:00

我要過多久才能好呢有好多辛苦路得走走到口渴眼淚乾了人會領悟些什麼
回憶是記者它會挖出不為人知的寂寞每一個人的以前住在心裡像事後的孤兒

so good in describing my feeling now. when only i will feel better?
life is so hard.
whenever i feel its getting better, it getting worst instead.
stop crying cause its helpless and useless.
but the heart sank really deep, and its heavy.

whenever i think of it, and i ask why
but there will never be answer.
how can you blame others when it is your own fault?
how can you not think of others when you took that action?
how can you not think of people's feeling when you say it out?
when only you will wake up and realize what you have done?

since when, you are not the person i look up anymore
cause you say: don't worry, i will take care of everything.
you are not doing as what you promised.
disappointed, yet i can't do anything.

journey of life is long yet short.

why

2011-07-26T23:36:00.000+08:00

why, life have to be so hard?

part time

2011-07-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

missing in action since i start working part time.
i believe in working hard myself and get what i want instead of asking people to buy it.
that's why until now i still haven't change my antique phone.

went to work in Clarins for 15 days now, since 1st of July and end on 31st of July.
people there treat me very good as they know i am doctor-to-be.
people really judge you by your profession.
i am very lucky as well go have very good beauty adviser, Elaine who teach me a lot of things and she treat me very good too. i am not being bullied by anyone and i don't bully others.

get lots of sample from Clarins as well, and today Elaine asked me if i have use finish the sample? if yes tell her and she will give me more.
i guess i really enjoy and have fun working there.
each day listening to other people problem somehow make me feel i am very lucky and should appreciate with what i had.

nobody is problem free and they happy face doesn't mean they are happy.

seen a lot type of people in the market. fussy customer, polite customer and even non-greedy customer...

i enjoy my work and happy with what i earn. my company gave me quite a good pay.

gonna buy Asus special edition laptop with my hard earn money. forget about new phone then.

今生你嫁的人，是前世葬你的人

2011-07-02T21:36:00.002+08:00

从前有个书生，和未婚妻约好在某年某月某日结婚。到那一天，未婚妻却嫁给了别人。书生受此打击，一病不起。这时，路过一游方僧人，从怀里摸出一面镜子叫书生看……

　　书生看到茫茫大海，一名遇害的女子一丝不挂地躺在海滩上。路过一人，看一眼，摇摇头，走了。又路过一人，将衣服脱下，给女尸盖上，走了。再路过一人，过去，挖个坑，小心翼翼把尸体掩埋了。

　　僧人解释道，那具海滩上的女尸，就是你未婚妻的前世。你是第二个路过的人，曾给过他一件衣服。她今生和你相恋，只为还你一个情。但是她最终要报答一生一世的人，是最后那个把她掩埋的人，那人就是他现在的丈夫。

　　书生大悟。

　　前世，究竟是谁埋的你？

　　孟婆说：“行路的人，喝碗孟婆汤解解渴。”口渴的人心急的喝了。于是，那个前世埋他们的人，在他们头脑中渐渐模糊了。他们开始惊惶的四处张望，妄图在茫茫人海中寻找今生的爱人。“众里寻它千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。”其实，你携起他的手时，就是前世残存的记忆在提醒你了，前世埋你的人，就是你身边与你相濡以沫的爱人啊。

　　月光下的大海，泛着粼粼的波。

　　和你的爱人去看看月光下的大海吧，在大海的最深处，也许就藏着你前生的记忆呢。

　　三生石上的旧精魂，真的不是一个美丽的传说么？与前世埋葬过我的爱人，携手在银色的沙滩，那该是今生最完美的一种幸福了吧!

　　佛说，今生你嫁的人，是前世葬你的人。

　　第一次领悟到这一点,才发现,原来冥冥中真的有注定。

　　也许一生中可以爱很多人,也许一生中我可以遇到很多人。

　　对的,错的,那都已经不重要,重要的是那个前生葬我的人。会不会在某个不经意是瞬间他出现,来结束那前生的因果。爱情是什么,也许没有人看的明白,我也不懂。太多伤害和同情让原本善良的我们变的不是自己。就算要倔强的做回自己,而却要牺牲太多,太多。

　　也许前生没有人葬我，

　　也许前生我是个到处游荡的灵魂。

　　我不想有太多的悔恨，

　　也不想有太多的牵挂，

　　当你出现的时，

　　那一句:是你吗,足矣。

fate

2011-07-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

do you believe in fate? yes i do...
i still can't believe that you private message me the other day, right before i want to sleep.
and out of expectation, we actually chat for so long.
you make me think back all those things i've down when i was young, when we were young.
when you actually ask me out, i am surprised!
well, i know, because you just broke up with your girlfriend.
i thought you didn't notice me all this while, or remembered me.
but i think i want to remain the memory, what i did when i was young. it is so clear in my head i can remember every single things i've done.
memory is the sweetest things, and what i did was the sweetest things too!
i wonder if you ever know my feeling towards you when i was young........

2011-06-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

i just read something that i've shouldn't have read. and it makes me can't control my tears.
i have no idea how someone can hold a hatred for so long.
i just don't want to get into both of your problem. i don't know who's right and who's wrong. but i am sure both of you are at fault.
i don't want to get to know anything about it, cause i feel so helpless. that i should standby who's side.
why all of this every happened?! why it should happened?
i am not able to conform either of you, cause i am full of torn.
and gets to know i am not the apple of your eye, that breaks my heart into pieces... no matter how hard i tried, i will never be the apple of your eye.
she will also do the same thing as i did. but you never see it. and she will still be the best.
i should have known this since i was young......

i don't need comfort, cause i will heal myself.
sitting in a corner of dark room and cry, and i will heal myself.

家家有本难念的经！

2011-06-19T14:14:00.000+08:00

如果婚姻生活需要经历这些，看似美满的家庭却不是很美满。
如果婚姻本来是两个人的事变两家人的事。
如果婚姻里两个人随着时间而改变，才发现原来的两个人都变得陌生了。

为什么两个人会沦落到这一天的地步？
就因为忍不到一时的寂寞，而得到下半辈子的痛苦。
不只是自己同苦，被你们带到世界上的小生命也同苦。

当初还不是自己的选择，有什么好埋怨的？

如果需要这样，我宁可不要。
一个人来到这世界，一个人活在这世界，一个人离开这世界。

p/s:
当你要借钱时，就应该要有“人家不会还你钱”的心理准备。过了几十年再来算帐，又何苦呢？
做人不要有双重标准，自己那一方借钱不还不要紧，另一半的那方借钱不还就发了疯似的。何苦何苦？？
要借就闭嘴，不要借直截了当说你没那个钱！

I want to see you in clinical year!

2011-06-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

When I was in the last station for OCSE today, it was Mr. AAA who is the invigilator for the station.
I have to perform upper limb motor sensory examination and I think I was able to do it quite well.

But what I wanted to say is after the exam, Mr. AAA actually ask me go over his place.
So I walk near him and he ask how's my pro-exam, is't ok so far?
I say that I am not very sure about it.
He say: don't worry! OSCE will help you. you did very well! And, I say thank you.
The most important thing is he says: I want to see you in clinical year!!
I was so touched when I heard this!!! It was so encouraging!!!
I say I hope I can go clinical year too!
Then he say: don't worry! you do very well today!

I am very looking forward to learn from him! I really hope I can go to clinical year.

Thank you very much Sir! Your words touched me!

death sentence

2011-06-15T10:04:00.001+08:00

first time ever i feel like crying after walk out from exam hall.
i never have this kind of feeling no matter how bad i did the test before this.
but today is totally different.
and again, those suppose to come out didn't came out!
only came out 2 pots?! the rest is anatomy and microb?! wtf!

i might get another death sentence.
and i start to prepare mentally from now on.

i got 1 extra sticker for my matrix number to stick on the paper.
it ain't suppose to have any extra and i got 1 extra?!!!
which fucking paper i didn't stick my matrix number?!
this never happened before. NEVER!
and it happened today?! wtf?!!! fucking pissed of myself!

can't sleep well, can't eat well, can't even sit well for 3 freaking days! and 1 more day to go!
i really can't handle this kind of shit anymore!

it's time to change my dream?
meaningless......

tired

2011-06-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

i am so tired of everything... i hope it get over very soon.
left 2 more days.

today's paper sucks! i hate emq and sba now!!!
what suppose to come out didn't come out. those aren't suppose to come out jump out in front of my eyes.
so so so tiring. i wish to have 12 hours sleep now... but can't afford it for now.

so tiring of memorizing and memorizing and memorizing.
can i have a photogenic memory?!

peaceful

2011-06-13T15:02:00.000+08:00

when i wake up this morning, i feel so peaceful. its like pass away peacefully that kind of peaceful.
the night before i totally can't sleep. i was nervous, had emotional breakdown.

i am not sure how was the exam, but at least i am more confident now...
a little bit of error here and there, not every answer is accurate... so i don't know what will it be...

1 down, 3 to go!

pre-exam syndrom

2011-06-12T21:11:00.000+08:00

this 2 days my brain is full of what i want to do after my professional exam.
i keep thinking about how will i enjoy my life instead i should be thinking about my notes.
totally have no motivation to study but i need to study.

keep forcing myself to read more and more and more. never scared read too much.
but i just can't control myself.

when i close my eyes my brain start to imagine other than exam.
and i can't sleep yesterday night. i wish i will not have the same problem tonight or else i will be a dead meat tomorrow morning.

please please please! i want everything of this to get over now!!! like right NOW!!!
i just can't bare a second more.
and the result will be on friday and i wish the first sentence our dean will say is "congratulation to all of you, this batch every student pass their professional exam!"
a dream again! fml fffff!

i wanted to scold bad word so much right now! damn!!!
i guess my split personality is coming out!

i wish i have the courage to jump down from 7th floor.
nah just kidding!!

random

2011-06-10T18:08:00.000+08:00

feel so awful now. it's like a lot of stones stacking up in my heart, getting heavier and harder for me to breath from day to day...
maybe it's the haze, maybe it's the rain, maybe it's the stress.

nearly sold off my Jolin's concert tickets. but the buyer just back up in the last message.
i was happily imagine of selling off the tickets and then suddenly there is a voice in my head saying: don't think too much. you will end up not able to sell out the tickets.
wtf!
after that voice appear, i receive the buyer saying sorry he/she don't want it.
wasted my credit! wasted my time!
why my sixth sense never wrong?! never.

asked my sis to go with me, but i doubt she will.

having exam in 48 hours time i guess. i think i am not well prepared. fml!

wake up this morning telling myself today will be a good day! bullshit!

no more imagination/dream, cause my imagination/dream will never come true. it will only become an opposite situation! damn!

random post with random thoughts! please ignore me...
i'll just get better. it will heal itself. i will heal myself.

The Women of God

2011-06-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

Woman was created from the rib of man
She was not made from his head to top him
Nor from his feet, to be trampled on.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him
From under his arm to be protected by him
From near his heart to be loved by him.

一棵开花的树

2011-06-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

一棵开花的树

如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻

为这
我已在佛前求了五百年
求佛让我们结一段尘缘
佛於是把我化做一棵树
长在你必经的路旁

阳光下
慎重地开满了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望

当你走近
请你细听
那颤抖的叶
是我等待的热情

而当你终於无视地走过
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊
那不是花瓣
那是我凋零的心

席慕容《一颗会开花的树》

cry?

2011-06-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

will i feel better if i cry it out?
trying to hold it back but... i just can't describe how i feel...

moment of life and death

2011-06-05T08:32:00.001+08:00

I was woke up by the door bell of my home, look at my phone and it shows 6.30am. I wonder who will come and ring our door bell at this time. I was awake and waiting my mom to respond. Her room door did not open, and the door bell keep on ringing. So I get off from my bed, getting my spec and walk downstair.

Standing in front of my house sliding door, trying to look outside at hard as possible. It was still dark, I can't see anything, nobody it outside the house. I did not think of open my house door. Who knows what's outside my house. I'm trying so hard if I see any familiar face. But no one.

"Who's pressing my door bell?" asked inside my heart. "Did I heard wrongly?" "Did the door bell even ring?" so many question pop out in my mind. Stand at the sliding door for quite some times. No more door bell ringing, and no one is outside my house. "Why the door bell ring?" "Did it even ring?" "Did I hear something that other people don't, since last time I hear Mario theme song?" So I walk up to my room again, with tonnes of questions in my mind. "Did I really heard wrongly? But it was so clear!"

Just when I stepped into my room, the door bell ring again! I was like: seriously?! wtf!! I ask my sleeping-soundly-sis "Did you hear that?" she answered "yes........" and continue her sleep. Proof that I did not heard anything that aren't suppose to be heard. I walk downstair again.

Standing at the sliding door again trying to search if there is any people. Then I saw a familiar face, she is Simon's maid. So I open the door and asked her what happened. She asked if my dad is awake, I say not yet. She says 'she' can't breath and its breathlessness. I am not very sure who is the 'she' so I thought it was her master's daughter. She has asthma.

I ran upstair and knock my mom's room's door. Mom opened the door and ask what? I ask: Didn't you heard the door bell ringing? She says no. So I told her what happened in short and ask her to wake my dad up. She just answer ok then she close her room door. Then I ask over the door: are you going to wake dad up? Because she doesn't seem like going to wake him up. The moment she close the door is like she's going bed to sleep again. Her mood changed and say: give us some times to prepare!

Then I went downstair again. The maid is still outside and I ask what happened. She says is another neighbor's wife can't breath. Now only I realize what really happened. My neighbor wife which was having a nerve disease and she was paralyzed. Day by day she loss her motor function, as in she can't walk, then later can't lift her hand, can't move her neck. Day by day it progressed to something worst. Now she is in total paralyzed, not even can swallow her food. So I went up to tell my mom it's actually Aunty L who is having the problem.

My mom was start to mumble and I was annoyed. She was saying we can't help even we were there, we don't have oxygen etc etc. In my heart thinking: people think our house have doctor and nurse and they don't know what to do now. Even we can't help at least you still can help out something right?! Just go and see what happened first! Your sleep is so important?! I just did not say out. These days, I start to keep words that's harsh inside my heart. Better don't say it when you might regret later.

So every neighbor is awake. Simon's dad was standing outside their house, telling the maid to do something. YH's parent were there too. His mom went over to Aunty L house and make phone call to ambulance. My parent went into the house and Aunty L's husband was at his wife bedside. I am not sure what he was doing but I saw their daughter, standing outside the room and look so nervous and helpless. So I went over and comfort her, she was trying very hard to keep her tears back.

I just stand outside the room, since my parent were helping inside. Aunty L was chocked by her phlegm. She can't cough it out so it was stuck and block her breathing. Her husband says her face colour changed. My mom winded up the bed, trying to make her sit up. My dad says there is a lot phlegm inside her lung. Honestly, we really can't do anything. No oxygen in their house and no phlegm sucker to suck the phlegm out. Just trying to make sure that Aunty L is able to breath.

While they were discussing what happened before this, suddenly, I heard Aunty L's husband shouting. I am not sure she's bitting her tongue or what. My mom ran to their kitchen and find a spoon. Her husband was asking her to be strong, shouting "don't give up!", "you can't do this to me!", "be strong!", "oh God, don't let this happened". I feel my heart is so heavy. I actually thought she was killing herself.

Aunty L was in V-fib. Meaning her heart is not contract properly. I don't know what I feel at that moment. It was the moment of life and death. Either she make it or not. And her husband was calling her name, asking her not to do this to him., not to leave him, trying to do CPR to her......

The ambulance arrived. I think it took around half an hour which consider quite fast. The medical assistant went into the room, and they look 'don't know what to do'. So we asked for the troli and asked them to send Aunty L to hospital. I saw her eyes was open, maybe her V-fib is over.

After the ambulance is gone, the neighbors and my parent start discussing. And I walked back home, with lots of thoughts in my mind.

I thought I am brave, but seem like I'm so weak.
I''m getting panic so easily when I shouldn't be.
I'll try to improve myself to be a better me.
God, please, bless each and every family......

phobia

2011-06-04T10:32:00.000+08:00

every morning whenever i open my eyes, my mind will start functioning automatically counting down the days to professional exam. then my heart sinked... so deep. i just don't have the urge to study anymore...

it's phobia.

i'm trying the best i can to avoid the fear in my heart and mind. i'm just unable to control everything...

鸵鸟

2011-06-02T11:39:00.000+08:00

我就像个鸵鸟把头埋进沙中，逃避一切。

忧郁

2011-06-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

去年的这个时候，大概是我最痛苦的时候。
今天要提起时又哽咽，原来还是放不下。
还以为自己可以很坚强的去面对。

发觉自己好像有点迷信。
要做医生的怎么可以那么迷信？
为什么我不会像我爸爸那样只相信科学？

最近很压力。
就只剩下10天。
他说这次没问题，只是我自己紧张罢了。
为什么要一次又一次经历这一切？
我想昨天睡觉时不知不觉地哭就是这个原因吧！

真相痛痛快快的哭一场。
我好像有点忧郁症了。

改变

2011-05-29T18:38:00.002+08:00

这世界每个东西都在改变，每个人也在改变，为什么我却不变？

PenDrive - Jolin Tsai's Concert 4th week winner is......

2011-05-26T15:15:00.003+08:00

I received a phone call from Suki, a Marketing Executive from PenDrive.
She informed me that I have won 2 tickets of Jolin Tsai concert tickets, and I have to collect the mock up ticket and take a picture in PenDrive main office.
I didn't have any reaction at that time as I thought it was a spam.
I did take part in the contest but I didn't think of winning the concert tickets at all! Cause I haven't win any contest I took part before this.

I took part in the contest was because I helped my aunt to bought 2 pendrive at Tesco the other day.
This PenDrive have 10 years warranty!! So I say why not try this brand as my aunt wants Kingston.
Then I helped her to register online and get the reference number so that she can get a 10 years warranty.
I put my own email address and few days later they send me and ask me to enter the contest.
So I just simply put my name and IC number and answer 2 easy questions.
Since I bought 2 PenDrive so I have 2 warranty reference numbers and I have 2 chances of send in my contest form.
Few days later, they send an email me the 3rd week winner, so I just tell myself I have no chance of winning it!

Later in the afternoon after the call, they send me an email confirming I have won the tickets.
It was from PenDrive and only then I start to realize I really have won the contest.
Then in facebook page, the have added me as friend and tag me in a photo including my name and IC number.

I decided on Tuesday before I come back Melaka, I will visit their main office and collect the mock up ticket.
It was a problem for me to find their main office.
I have no GPS so I get the direction from google map.
Since the only landmark which I know shown in the map is Sunway Pyramid, so I will figure out how to go to the main office when I reach Sunway.
As you know Malaysia road and the sign broad is totally useless.
Even though the google map there written a road name on it, but when I travel in Sunway, I just can't find the next sign.
Until a junction, I have no idea I should go which way.
So I continue on Shah Alam way as the main office address is in Shah Alam.

Seriously I've never been to the place I am going, so I start to feel a little worry if I am on the right track.
So I phone to PenDrive main office to confirm if I am on the right track.
Luckily due to my cleverness, I am going the right way. And then I was guide by the receptionist.
Finally I reach the place, Suki wasn't in the office so another girl hand over me the mock up ticket and too a photo of me!

Jolin Tsai concert is on 11th June, which is 2 days before my professional exam. I was like wtf?!!
I wanted to give to my sister but she is so not interested in Jolin. So I am letting this 2 tickets away.
It's RM268 per tickets and it's free setting. For more info you can visit at Galaxy website.
Contact me if you want my tickets. Jolin wasn't so famous after all. haha!

Saw me in the 4th column?! the only girl till now!!

After all, I have to say I am very lucky person!!

Agape Boutique

2011-05-26T14:22:00.001+08:00

Ever since pumps have become a new trend, I wanted pumps so much but even have a chance to have it.
Usually is because don't have my size. My feet is just too big! And the price wasn't cheap at all.
The most important one are those pumps I saw were too complicated with ribbons and flowers of it which I don't like. I just like it to be as simple as possible.
Finally I found a pump which suit me the best in Agape Boutique.

It was pre-order so I have to wait up to 2 weeks.
The pumps reach my house exactly on the date they promised me! and their service is good. They will try their best to help you to choose better size for your shoes.
It fit me so well for size 40. I don't feel too tight or too loose.
Usually in other shop either there is no size 40 or it doesn't fit my feet due to different cutting.

I was so happy and I took a photo and upload to facebook.
Out of my expectation, a lot of my friends comment on the photo and a lot people like it so much!

Finally I have a pumps that I love so much!
It makes me look taller. I think I have 170cm now with the pumps! haha!

The display photo is totally same as the real pumps right?!

What we worry the most from online shopping is due to different colour and not the same as the actual photo.

The pumps from different angle.

The online shop also have 2 shops in shopping mall.

Offline Blogshop @ AV149, Asian Avenue, Sunway Pyramid (Rack named: agapeboutique.blogspot - displaying shoes and bags)
OB Couture @ Level 1, Tropicana City Mall (Rack #L2 - displaying ladies clothes, #N14- displaying Shoes and Bags)

Other than shoes they also have bags and dress. If you can't go to the shop you can buy it online.

I just love this pump to much!!!
I will definitely shop in Agape Boutique again!!!

outing with peyyein

2011-05-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

Have a date with peyyein on Wednesday afternoon to have brunch.
She came and fetch me for the first time ever!! haha...
Last time I use to fetch her from her house everytime we meet.
Yesterday when we were chatting and she get to know I am in Melaka, she asked me out and I agreed.
Wonder how we always have the same thought. Some times we just speak out the same word at the same time.
We just know each other's thought!

peyyein, this hairstyle suit you!!! very pretty!

She arrived at my house around 11am +, and we reach Melaka Raya's Nadeja at around 11.55am.
And I suddenly pop out a question: Is Nadeja open in this time?
Last time we went to Dataran's Nadeja and there open around 11am. Not sure about Melaka Nadeja.
We found out the door of Nadeja wasn't fully open. haha...
Well, we asked the waitress and she say they open at 12pm.
So we stand outside and wait for few minutes before the fully open the door.

Ordered cakes and cappuccino and we were chatting all along.
You just have to have a piece of cake with a cup of coffee. It's perfect!
When 2 girls and 2 mouths meets...... story never end.

After that we went over the opposite shop 'Pan and Wok'.
According to peyyein, it's belong to one of our friend's parent shop.
We just had our main course and dessert up the other way round right?
Who eat dessert first only eat main course?
I ordered pork chop and peyyein order fish and chip plus we share a glass of ice lemon tea.

where is my head peyyein?! haha...

The portion served is really big!
We regraded and should order 1 and share among ourselves.
But still I manage to finish it.
Until now I still feel the pork chop is still in my stomach.
Wondering why recently I keep craving for western food......

p/s: I just realize we didn't took photo together! Next time our first mission when we meet is to take a photo of both of us!

please vote for me. thanks!

2011-05-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

my dear blogger reader, please vote for this photo in HERE.
hopefully i can win a DSLR.
yeah i know i am dreaming. haha...
THANKS for your vote.
and to all my friends that already voted for me, i just want to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

organ damage

2011-05-22T01:52:00.000+08:00

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.
It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone.
It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.
It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it?
What if you like it and lean on it?
What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart?
Can you even survive that kind of pain?
Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying.
The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.

Meredith (grey's anatomy season 7 episode 22)

sweet escape part 3

2011-05-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

If you think our journey end just like that, you are so wrong!

On Monday night, Zyang, Mei and I went to Seremban to have our long-planned Crab!!!
Mei has always say how delicious is the baked crab over there. Fern didn't join us as she has to accompany her bf.
My camera die halfway as I didn't charge it when I came back from Cameron. Some of the photos are from Zyang.

After our dinner, we went to find Mei's brothers, Dasmond and Xiang who stay there.
We have become like family friends.
They were having dinner at Italian Pizza so we just find them over there.
Dasmond children were so lovely and cute.

See the little girl above, she is having her Tiramisu.
We have no idea the Tiramisu have Rum inside it. She become so hyper after the tiramisu and keep on eating it. She wasn't close to me at first, but after the tiramisu, she become so close to me, even asked me to sit with her in the car on the way back to her house.
When reach her house, she just stick with me the whole time as if I am very close with her. She become depressed when I ignore her a while. She even want me to sleep with her when she went to bed. haha...
We faster leave when she didn't saw me.

The next morning, we went to Kuchai Lama to have our Dimsum.
It was the same shop when me and my friends had the day after Jay's concert on March!

And finally, everything reach to an end.
When will be our next trip?

The End

sweet escape part 2

2011-05-20T16:29:00.001+08:00

On 2nd day, we woke up around 6am in the morning.
Move from our '7 stars hotel' at around 7am, wanting to go to BOH tea center but it wasn't open until 9am.
I guess we were just too early. Early bird get nothing in cameron. haha...
So we went to a strawberry farm but it wasn't open yet but there is shop which already open.
We ordered a wafer with strawberry, chocolate and cream.

See how juicy is the strawberry. It was awesome!
Because 4 of us share this little plate. When you don't over eat some thing, you will definitely feel it is delicious.
We bought 2 strawberry jam from the guy, and he gave us a little box of strawberry free!
Who say early bird get nothing?!

After little breakfast to fill our stomach, Zyang bring us to a roti canai shop nearby to have Cameron roti canai.
The roti canai and nasi lemak taste not bad. But i still prefer Malacca's roti canai!

After our breakfast, we head out to BOH tea center again for our tea!! As if other place don't have BOH tea. We can get it in supermarket too!
We have to walk up a small distant of hill to reach the tea center.

See how bright is the sky. Everything is perfect!!!

Even though the sun is very big, but it was very warm, with the cold wind blowing towards you.

Finally we reach at the tea center!

We had out BOH tea there. It was so enjoying and relaxing. I wish I stay in Cameron Highland and every weekend I can relax at this place. Reading some newspaper and near to the nature.

By the way, do you know BOH stand for what? I doubt anyone know about it.
It actually stand for Best Of Highland. How I know? I overhead a tourist guide telling the tourist about it.
I went there before when I was quite young. Maybe around primary school that time. The tea factory was working and showing us how the tea is processed. But now, the factory is not working anymore. You still can smell a very strong odor of tea in the factory.

There is actually a distance from the tea center back to where we come from.
Mostly Indian stay along the way up to tea center, and we smell curry from one of the house. It smell delicious!

After our relaxing morning, Mei wants to go to bea farm! There are tonnes of flower in the garden and it's free to visit.
I put some of the photo which I am very satisfied with.

love this little girl's hair! it's natural curl!!

Then we went to flower nursery. We didn't buy any flower as Mei say the night market at her house sell the same flower at a cheaper price.
Well, Cameron has been very commercialized because they want to attract more tourist there.

This is the photo I love the most and the plant is so special!!

A collection of flowers which I took when we were at Cameron.

After all the visiting, we went to a restaurant to have our lunch.
We order mostly vegetable as it was very fresh and the only meat was for me cause they know I love meat more.

After lunch, we went back to pack our stuff and have some rest before we go back to Cyberjaya.
On the way back to Cyberjaya, we stop by at Bidor again!
Mei says she was hungry so Zyang say it's nearby to Bidor when we just came down from Cameron.

Had the very famous duck mee there. I love the soup so much! I was quite surprise when they actually give a drumstick!
I would prefer if the duck meat is sliced in pieces when its served.
Then Zyang say the porridge is very famous. We ordered a bowl for 4 of us. The boss was quite surprise when we say we only want 1 bowl. haha...

On top of it is the pig's inner organ which is deep fried. If you not a pig inner organ lover I doubt you will like this porridge. Personally I like it.

Well, if you think it's over, please hold on!
When we nearly reach Selangor, Mei suggested we go for dessert!
Zyang bring us to Kepong for the dessert there.

My bladder and stomach nearly burst!

to be continue......

p/s: for more photos please visit my Flickr.

sweet escape part 1

2011-05-19T22:15:00.001+08:00

All of my pharmacy friends are going to graduate soon. They've plan for a road trip before we all separate.

They invited me but I wasn't going to join them at first, but then after persuaded by Mei for many times, I just can't resist her anymore.

I must say this is a really a great trip! All of us enjoy ourselves very much.

We plan to go from from Cyberaya -->Teluk Intan --> Sitiwan --> Cameron Highland --> back to cyberjaya again. Somehow we changed our plan in between...

The day before travelling, out of sudden Mei and Zyang wanted to eat ais as they just finished their final exam. Zyang suggested we go to Snowflakes at Kuchai Lama.

At first we plan to start our journey at 8am. But then Fern suggested we have our breakfast in Teluk Intan. So Zyang and Fern say we start our journey at 6am. Mei and I heard wrongly, we thought it's 7am.
The next day Zyang knock our door at 5.30am and I was like: why so early?
Then later only Mei and I realize all of us have some communication problem.

We reached Teluk Intan around 8am. Trying so hard to find the restaurant for Seafood Bak Kut Teh but failed. So we stop nearby and ask for direction.

Well, I have no idea in Malaysia we also have our own leaning tower! haha...
It's called the Leaning Tower of Teluk Intan. You can learn about the history of leaning tower at HERE.

The uncle recommended another shop which is just nearby. We thought it will be the same Seafood Bak Kut Teh but then when we reach there, they say they have seafood AND bak kut teh. It's the totally different thing.

But still, the BKT is acceptable. The taste is not bad. But we are quite disappointed because we didn't get to eat Seafood BKT.

After buying some biscuit and cookies which is famous in Perak, we continue our journey to Sitiawan.
Sitiawan is Fern and Zyang hometown. My dad's hometown too!
On the way to Sitiawan, we have to cross over a bridge. After the bridge, there will be paddy field. Everything my family and I go back to my dad's hometown, I wanted to take photo of the paddy field so much. But I never ask my dad to stop at roadside for me to take photo.
When we pass by there, Mei and Fern say it is so beautiful. I asked Zyang to stop at roadside!
Finally! My dream come true.

Zyang wants to bring us to somewhere special in Sitiawan, or they call the LANDMARK there.
Beware of the next photos!

Your eyesights are totally FINE!!! hahaha... I have no idea there are people who love money so much until they put $$$$$ on their gate!!!
And guess what is their house number! it's 96! 916 gold meh?!

After seeing this special landmark, Zyang bring us to have the famous cendol in Sitiawan.
Normal cendol and pulut cendol. I have no idea why Sitiawanese say cendol as cendui. haha...

After cendol, we went to search for Kong Piang. I miss it so much!! But too bad, we have to wait for 20 minutes for another round.
See the little boy who doing the Kong Piang. He works so hard!

We just don't have luck today. So we go back to Zyang home. His mom is waiting for us with this red wind mee sua--my love!!!

After Mee sua, we rest in Zyang house for sometime and have chat with his mom together with chinese tea. Zyang family love chinese tea so much. Any question about chinese tea, just ask him!

It started to rain when we were resting in Zyang house, we decide to go up to Cameron Highland earlier. We tried our luck in the Kong Piang shop again but we still don't have luck of getting to taste Kong Piang.

We reached Cameron Highland at around 4pm. Zyang shows us the Smokehouse there.
It's very nice but the price for dining there is quite expensive.

We didn't stay in hotel or motel or apartment. We stay in Zyang's friend's house which we rate it as 7 stars hotel! haha... his friend's house is so comfy and we actually stunted when we saw the house.
His friend and family weren't at home. So the whole house actually 'belong' to us (for that day only)!!

We have some rest and get ourselves cleaned then we ahead for our dinner.
In Cameron Highland, how can you missed their steamboat.
Cold weather + steamboat = PERFECT!

After dinner, we walk around in the night market.
The yam ball is so delicious!!!

Zyang friend's house is so comfy!!! We actually treat it like our own house. Luckily the master is not in the house, if not it will be so embarrassing for us to behave like that!

That's all for 1st day! We need to charge our energy for the next day!!!

to be continue......

p/s: for more photos please visit my Flickr.

忘了多久

2011-05-06T00:49:00.000+08:00

忘了多久没和别人说心事
忘了多久没有开开心心大笑一场
忘了多久没有回忆过去
忘了多久......忘了

stress

2011-05-05T00:20:00.002+08:00

i start to feel stress!
i start to feel i am lack of time!!
there is so much to do yet so little time!!!

is it good for me to feel nervous now?
i just feel every second passes so fast and i only archive little things.
so so so stressss!

希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以更容易找到你

2011-05-03T20:48:00.000+08:00

希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以更容易找到你

讓我愛你一小時

主唱：林峰
作曲：鄧智偉
填詞：陳少琪
編曲：莊冬昕

不是因為我的妒忌　他根本不適合你
如果你愛得有點累了　請別難為自己
你的眼神總是逃避　命連改變的痕跡
是否得不到的幸福　比勇敢放棄更美麗

如果可以讓我愛你一小時　生命在這裏才開始
我會心滿意足笑著消失　就像一次落日
如果只能讓我愛你一小時　寫一首最短的情詩
希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以更容易找到你

你的眼神總是逃避　命連改變的痕跡
是否得不到的幸福　比勇敢放棄更美麗

下一世紀找到你
在人海的浪花中認得你
但願我愛你一小時　寫一首最短的情詩
希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以再找你一次

the sentence that i highlighted is so touching! but intro of this song so much like 暧昧 by 楊丞琳

so wrong

2011-05-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

Everything just feel so wrong today!

Maybe my self conscious just awake and realize how near to Pro exam and I start to feel nervous now.

42 days to go? I guess so... and I haven't start anything.

Nobody can understand what I'm feeling now..........

Hot Air Balloon Festival 2011

2011-04-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

Went to Hot Air Balloon Festival 2011 with my friends the other day!

We all woke up around 5 something in the morning, and reach Putrajay around 7am.

Due to last year experience, we have learn how to be an early bird.

Even though we were there early, we can see there are so many people queue-up to go into the hot air balloon area.

And those who have DSLR have the 'privilege' to go in first.

How smart am I to get to go in there too by using my Smena 8M LOMO camera?! hahahaha...

So lets just enjoy photos I took from there using my digital camera first.

we were there when the sun not even out yet. you can see the sky is still dark.

see the fire in the balloon?

when the sun begin to come out!

can you see how MANY people were there??

i can feel the heat!!!

the balloon is just so colourfull!

just a blink of eye and see the next photo......

so many people crowded in that area

my vietnamese friends and the vietnamese team who came from vietnam to fly the balloon.
they were just too friendly when they meet their country people in foreign country.

the most famous balloon.

the clown

clown with 2 sided face-the happy face

clown with 2 sided face-the sad face

i think this if from malaysia... how ugly -_-!!!

how come the basket is in inside??

ooppsss......

don't worry your eyesight is alright! it's the balloon fault! so tricky!

doraemon!!!

so colourful and natural with the sunshine!

After this will be all from my LOMO camera.
Of course you can't compare to a well function camera.
I know a lot people don't like lomo but it has totally a different feel.

balloons up in the sky!

guess what is this? this is a tree!

the clown

my friend--Vu

Phong and Vu

sen/carot

i like this photo a lot as the colour is so nice!

i like this photo the most.
you can see how the sunlight act with the balloon and give a photo of over-sunlight-exposed.
this is just so natural!!!

sometimes you can't expect what photo you will get from lomo camera.
that's the greatest part! where you can get surprises when you see your photo after process!
i would definitely want to go to hot air balloon festival again next year!!

you may visit my Flickr for more photo from Smena 8M lomo camera

photos with stories

2011-04-27T23:43:00.001+08:00

This is some photos I too with my Praktica SLR camera.
I am so satisfied with my work!
I can't imagine I can take such a good photo with manual SLR and the outcome is nice...

This photo has nostalgia feel.
I took this photo when I was waiting my sister to buy char kuew tiao.
I saw this little boy helping out his grandmother to wash dishes...
He was opening the tap and let the water run to fill up the basin, then he sit on little chair and help out.
Everyone's life is different, some kids born in rich and get what they want, some kids just have to help up their family in young age.

This waterlily was taken from my house.
Whenever I saw waterlily I'll think of my mom who like waterlily so much!

Another flower in my garden.
This flower just have lots of memory.
It was everywhere when I was young...

This is call cili padi (little chili)
It is planted in my house garden.
Although it is very little but it is very spicy.
Once there were so many cili padi in your garden we even took it to market and sell to the seller.
I remember it was 1kg for RM 5.

Good Friday

2011-04-23T13:01:00.000+08:00

Have a date yesterday with my friends as Ky is back from Singapore!!

Went out with her and Jeslyn... and we watched Source Code as Ky don't wanna watch either Red Riding Hood or Roommate!

I like the storyline of Source Code.

It's kinda sad but at least it was happy ending. It give people a hope that somehow there is another space afterlife.

We enjoy our time very much as we seldom can meet Ky now as she is working in Singapore.

How sweet for her to bring some snack for us from Shanghai where she was posted to work few few weeks.

Ky have to leave early cause she's having facial appointment. She say her face was terrible as she was too stress and have no enough sleep during her working days.

Then when she was heading towards her car, Jeslyn realize we haven't took any photo.

We were like fans that run towards the car and take pictures of celebrities wth...

Then Jeslyn and I continue walk around dp and mp and have some shopping.

Both 3 shirt for RM 50 instead of 1 for RM 35. I love the prints so much!

Each of the shirt was attached with this.

Are they too free?

just another rainy day

2011-04-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

I woke up by the ringing of door bell of my house and I know someone is coming to collect my house's washing machine. It was broken down last night and my mom and I have to wash all the cloth by ourselves. seriously can't imagine how tired to wash 1 full basket of cloth.

So I wrote in my status: dear future husband, I will not wash your cloth for you. So please buy a washing machine before you even try to court me!

Well, it's just for fun!

After the guy took the washing machine and i realize my car is disappear instead my dad's benz was park outside my house. I was wondering why my dad drove my car.... Just for fun?!!

I plan to go out with Jeslyn today and he drove my car!! Why...... Seriously I don't know how to describe my feeling during that time. I phoned my dad and he say his car petrol tank is leaking... Fine... I just how to forgive him to drove off my car...

It's raining outside now. Guess I can enjoy today fully with the rain...

rainy day + coffee = happiness

2011-04-16T14:41:00.000+08:00

It's rainy day on Saturday!!!

I remember I used to have a blog long time ago. And most of it was written in Chinese.
I always have a habit of having another copy of everything I'm having now.
But I did not actually save all the content of the blog and one day, it's disappear just like that.
I am not able to find back the page and even I type in URL it will be error.

As usual a blog need you to fill in the title, labels bla bla bla...
And we also need to fill in the weather, our own mood and we also can use different colours for front and background for each of the blog... It was so fun.
I guess I develop my blog interest there... and now everything is gone.
Honestly I think blogger is bored that's why I put lots of photo in between my blog...

Done crapping!

雨天 + 咖啡 = 幸福
rainy day + coffee = happiness

p/s:
i'm going to buy this pair of heels! nice? i know it's nice!!

Vietnam Trip day 8th on 2008--last day!

2011-04-15T13:09:00.000+08:00

The last day in Vietnam! Time flies...

We woke up early morning and had a group photo with Vu's mom.

She is totally the best mom I've ever seen other than my mom! haha....

She is soft spoken, so lady-like, and she cares so much for us.

After that, we went back to the restaurant we had dim sum to have our very last breakfast in Vietnam!

I miss the food so much. It's cheap and delicious!

We have all sort of Pho, all different flavor.

After breakfast, we walk back to Vu's house and the taxi was there.

We tried our best to fit all of our bags and belongings into this taxi.

We actually nearly call for the second taxi cause we have too many things.

Reach airport--check in luggage. Luckily we did not have over weight luggage!

On plane, 2nd round meal.

I have to say that this trip worth so much as the air ticket was so cheap and we actually took MAS.

The sky outside the plane....

Wish to go travel again... it have been such a long time apart from my last trip...

So many things happened and I've grown up so much, and awake!

Vietnam Trip day 7th on 2008

2011-04-14T01:14:00.001+08:00

I am totally crazy!! I blog this 3 years after the freaking trip?!!!

I was showing my Vietnamese friend about my Vietnam trip and just realize it was 3 years ago.

Then I see the date it was on 2008. It has been 3 years?!!

Oh ya and I just post up to day 6th. hahaha... I left out day 7 and 8!

And so... I will blog just based on my memory and lots of photos...

On day 7th, we travel back from Dalat to Ho Chi Minh City.

Went back to Vu's house and.... denggggggg..... He don't have keys to go into the house.

His maid is asleep and we were left outside the house waiting them to be awake.....

After putting off our bags, we went back to the restaurant we went to have dimsum!

I super like the breakfast there!! soooooo delicious!

And I am making myself hungry for viewing those photosss

After breakfast, we went for shopping in Ho Chi Minh!!

This is the last day we stay in Vietname so we want to spent all of our money here!

We want buy Vietnam lantern, cheap cloths, etc etc etc

And lots of delicious food for our lunch and dinner!

After dinner, there is dessert!!

Something like ABC but it's durian inside!!! soooooo delicious!!!

see the stack of money in his hand!!!

random petrol 'station'

Lastly, we went to a cafe for coffee.

It's so great for having a cup of coffee after dinner.

The environment in the cafe is sooooo nice!!

有一种女孩子

2011-04-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

在网络上看到这样一篇的文章

  有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静，很冷漠，
  在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
  并喜欢没形象的哈哈大笑，
  不要认为她很粗鲁，她只是很单纯的认为，
  大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑，表示更亲切，更不分你我。

   这一种女孩子不谈恋爱，只在姐妹间游荡
   即使有不错的朋友，她还是无奈的笑笑
   其实她只是在不能确定自己付出的前提下
   不会接受，因为不想伤害。

   这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
   也会幻想，也会羡慕，
   幻想着将来自己的恋爱
   该是多么的帅气，多么的温柔，多么的甜蜜！

   这一种女孩子，
   喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
   即使没有男朋友，
   在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！

   这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
   朋友问她怎么了她也只会说没事
   其实她只是感觉累了，
   她只是需要一个拥抱。

   这种女孩子不会轻易恋爱，恋爱了一定会好好珍惜。
   她会骄傲的拉着他的手大街小逛，
   不要认为她放肆，
   她只是答应过姐妹们幸福要大家一块分享。

   这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
   喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
   不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
   其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！

   这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
   如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
   她一定会狠心的离开你。
   不要怪她太绝情，
   她其实很爱你，但是卑微的爱情她不要，
   她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！

   这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
   大声的笑，放声的闹。
   当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
   她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。

   若你遇到了这样的女孩，
    如果你们是朋友，请原谅她平日的不理不睬，
    其实她只是不会社交，不敢打扰，
    你想想你的每一次邀约，她拒绝过你。

    如果你喜欢上她，请你不要说出来，
    因为她很幼稚，你会吓跑她。
    原谅她的冷漠，
    她只是怕伤害你！

    若她喜欢上你，请你不要在她的世界里消失。
    她没有更多的要求，不会打扰你的生活。
    她只是想静静的看着你，
    当你的观众，仅此而已。
   哭完了，苦笑一声：没想到我还会为一个男的哭。

    如果你们已经在一起了，
    请你好好珍惜她。
    这样的女孩子、太傻，
    请你别让她受伤。

    这一种女孩子就以这样的方式生活着，
    她有她的梦想，她的希望。
    一个如花儿般的女孩子，
    她时而快乐，时而忧伤；
    时而郁闷，时而疯狂；
    时而邪恶，时而善良；
    时而脆弱，时而坚强！
    你可以说她傻，也可以骂她笨，也可以说她冷，
    但是她们还是生活在自己的世界里，
    希望做一个幸福、善良的孩子！

有时不知道要怎样形容自己。
我就是活在自己的世界里！

1st visit in TheClickShop!!

2011-04-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

Finally I went to The*Click*Shop after so long!!

I wanted to go there since the day they open their shop but I have no chance at all.

Either no time, no friend to go with, bla bla bla lots of reasons.

The*Click*Shop from outside view

They had their first workshop ever on the 19 March about Basic Photography.

I went myself and attend the workshop! How brave am I.

I can't find anyone to accompany and go with me as my friends are not into photography or Lomo.

So I decided to went myself!

the wall that lots of people took picture whenever they went there

Honestly the place wasn't so easy to find.

Those places start with 'SS' are so complicated.

The roads are not arrange in order as you can find SS1 on the right and you see SS55 on the left.

And i copied the address wrongly -_-!!! so careless!

I guess I've pass the junction that I supposed to turn into.

So I U-turn and stop in front of the traffic light.

I asked the women beside me and I can see she was so afraid when i scroll d my car window.

She still very kind-hearted and tell me the direction.

I just need to turn left on the traffic light I stopped.

Adrian--the owner of the shop

After turning in, I just drive based on my feeling and finding Poh Kong shop as The*Click*Shop is just opposite it.

Out of surprise I found the shop unintentionally!!!

Just when I turn my eyeside to another place, I saw Poh Kong.

Then the next time I see the opposite shop, I saw The*Click*Shop!!!

Happily I found a parking and parked it!

saw my SMENA 8M's brother there!

Went in the shop and there are quite a number of people.

Even though I am late but the workshop haven't started yet.

So I just walk around the shop and see those display cameras that I've seen tonnes on internet.

little pond in corner of the shop

The workshop started and was conduct by Amirul.

Most of the basic about photography for example aperture, shutter speed, ISO, deep of field and also sunny 16 rule.

Actually I know most of it as I have friends study in photography but I don't know in detail.

Amirul--the speaker

Didn't get to know anyone from the workshop cause I was too shy wtf! Unbelievable!!

Get to walk around the shop and bought some films for my LOMO and SLR.

film that i bought!

Out of nowhere I found my interest in photography again.

Next post will be about pictures I took in Hot Air Balloon Festival 2011!!

I sneak into the area by using my LOMO camera as DSLR wtf!!!

Haven't develop my lomo-taken-hot air balloon pic!

Adele - Someone Like You

2011-03-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

somehow i feel so peace listening to this song.
maybe is the melody. maybe is the lyric. maybe is her voice.
so powerful and it just carry my thought away....

Jay's The Era World Tour concert 2011

2011-03-16T19:33:00.000+08:00

Went to Jay's The Era World Tour concert 2011 on the 5th of March.

I was having holiday in my hometown for 3 weeks and I totally enjoyed myself and have good rest.

Even though I only stay at home and some weekend outing with my friends.

i have waited for this for yearssssss

On Saturday, Jeslyn, Jialing and I came to KL and meet up with Lingpei.

We having lots of fun during the journey to KL and keep on heard Jay's song in the radio which make us go crazy.

on the way to KL

After meeting with Lingpei, we went to Sunway Pyramid and meet up Lichen and Kuanyun.

We had our lunch there, and then ahead to hotel.

We booked a hotel 2 weeks ahead and 6 of us will share a room there.

Guess what hotel we stayed!!

guess where we stay!!! this is so obvious! 5 stars hotel!

We went to Bukit Jalil Stadium around 6pm.

We wanted to go at 5pm but eventually grad until 6pm because all of us just can't finish make up ourselves.

As if we are going to some grand wedding or ball or prom! haha!

had my own make-up artist--Jeslyn!!!

on the way to stadium! ky posting non-stop with the ticket!

Reach there around 6.30pm as our hotel is so near to the stadium.

There were so many stalls selling food and drinks around there.

Since we haven't had our dinner so we decided just sit around there and had our dinner.

After dinner, we went into the stadium. A lot people had enter so we don't even need to queue up!

camping before the concert

Sitting at our seat and waiting eagerly!

I am seriously soooooo excited!!!

Finally I can meet my Jay Chou! Which I have follow for 10 freaking years!!

Fall in love with his very first song "hei se you mo" which means black humor, not his look!

But then he gradually become more handsome in this 10 years! haha...

His songs are still awesome!

Waiting the warm-up artist to sing finish their songs and finally Jay appear in 3D!!!

I didn't count how many song have he sing in total but we are so high.

OK fine I am the one that are very HIGH!!!

But the seat we have is just too far!

I only can see very tiny Jay!

I should have bought rockzone!!! He went down and shake hand with them!!!

And seriously, rockzone is so few people!

Then VVIP also get to touch his hand!

Luckily didn't bought VIP if not I will regret to the max, then only reach our seat PS1.

See how far was that!

Everyone follow Jay sing along as all of us is provide lyric on the screen! hahaha...

we have lots of fun in the hotel too!

On the next morning, we had our most delicious dimsum!!

We saw Jay's banner on a board along the way. It was so random!!

Obviously, I haven't get over with Jay Chou yet!

蓝星 bluestarstsl's blog

updates!

have a great year ahead!!! --2012--

i know what you did last last weekend!

their graduation

Merry Christmas *updates*

choices

all alone

best friend's wedding and gathering

too sensitive

surgery posting

You can shed tears that she is gone

You can shed tears that she is gone

recaps

1st week in terendak

痛

Book Fest 2011- Dr. George Lee

fall

mermaid princess

1st week in HPJ

why you become a doctor?

1st day in Putrajaya Hospital

孤僻

when?

tears stimulator

大学第三年

Oath taking ceremony

routine

when

我 要過多久 才能好呢

why

part time

今生你嫁的人，是前世葬你的人

fate

家家有本难念的经！

I want to see you in clinical year!

death sentence

tired

peaceful

pre-exam syndrom

random

The Women of God

一棵开花的树

席慕容《一颗会开花的树》

cry?

moment of life and death

phobia

鸵鸟

忧郁

改变

PenDrive - Jolin Tsai's Concert 4th week winner is......

Agape Boutique

outing with peyyein

please vote for me. thanks!

organ damage

sweet escape part 3

sweet escape part 2

sweet escape part 1

忘了多久

stress

希望你下輩子 別改名字 讓我可以 更容易找到你

希望你下輩子 別改名字 讓我可以 更容易找到你

so wrong

Hot Air Balloon Festival 2011

photos with stories

Good Friday

just another rainy day

rainy day + coffee = happiness

Vietnam Trip day 8th on 2008--last day!

Vietnam Trip day 7th on 2008

有一种女孩子

1st visit in The*Click*Shop!!

Adele - Someone Like You

Jay's The Era World Tour concert 2011

Merry Christmas updates

我要過多久才能好呢

希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以更容易找到你

希望你下輩子別改名字　讓我可以更容易找到你

1st visit in TheClickShop!!