choices

why there are so many choices that i need to choose everyday? why can't i just have all of it? or both of it...

have to choose where to go for my posting first so that i will be able to be in sitiawan and melaka for cny. cause there is no extra holiday for me except for 2 official public holidays. if i am in sitiawan during that time, i will not be able to go back and celebrate with my friends in melaka. cause its freaking 5 hours drive! and my stupid idiot college have no brain at all for not letting us to have 1 week holida instead. well, no choice. cause we are the MINORITY! don't hope they will have any consideration at all!

if i do so, christmas i will be in sitiawan. doing nothing at all. maybe without internet again and all alone. and next 1 week holiday after exam, what should i do? holiday? or work part time? i want a holiday break, but... who to go with...

seem like i have no friend to do things together. this have her own reason and that have their own plan.
i belong to nobody and nowhere. sigh...

no life at all. no experience at all. no memory at all....
is't what it have to be because of my professional? that i have to give up everything?

all alone

it's kinda sad when you realize you are getting far and far away from the group you use to be with.
a group of friends the you are comfortable to be with...
when you try so hard to fit in it, and then realize you are actually being push away...
trying so hard to have my own friends but its hard.
there is no friend in clinical years. all of them have their own group and me? just tagging along whenever i can...

while hoping my own gang of friends will always remember me, but i am the one that being forget all the time... being left out, being forgotten...
and i am the last one to get to know everything...

all alone again... maybe next year will be same as last year......

best friend's wedding and gathering

I went back to Melaka on Friday afternoon and reach around 5pm. I have no where to stay as I didn’t tell my parents. Yee Zin let me stay in her house because no other friends are willing to let me stay over their house. She says: this is the first time she invite friend to stay over. I say: this will also be the last too. I am so glad that I stay over at her house, knowing her family members.

I woke up at 6am the next morning and Yee Zin woke up earlier than me as she can’t sleep well the night before. She says she keep on dreaming and not able to sleep well. So we had simple breakfast at her house. Around 7am, some of her friends had arrived; make up artist came after that. While setting up her make up, weiling and her gang came as well. Only then her friends that plan the game to fool bridegroom came. So we help them to prepare those games.

The bridegroom and his brothers came around 10am. So we started the same with lots of fun. Luckily all the brothers are quite spotting and played all the game that we design. At last, Yee Zin’s husband reaches the doorstep and asks Yee Zin to married him by singing a song. I can clearly see Yee Zin is so touched and tears in her eyes.

Then tea ceremony to her parents and relative before she go over to the bridegroom’s house, and all of us, her sisters followed as well. Her friend is supposed to be bridesmaid but maybe she was too shy. I become the one who follow and help her to hold her gown.

After we reached his house, after all the traditional ceremony and have some rest over there, we went off after seeing everything is settled. 2 of her husband’s brother send us back to Yee Zin’s house as our car parked there. When we reach her home, no one was at home. I guess they had gone for lunch. Of course, with lots of photos in her husband house!

So we headed to lunch in Korean Restaurant as what we planned earlier. I bought 2 coupons from dealmates weeks before but have no chance to eat together as we are unable to fix a time. Finally we had it today with 6 of us including weiling, jialing, Christine, ling pei, lichen and me. We really enjoy ourselves very much. It’s a really great time for us to gather together.

After lunch, I have no where else to go so I hang over in Christine house, until likthing is back from her SIA interview. She missed the morning session because of the SIA interview that she decided to go last minutes. She promised to let me stay over her house for Saturday and Sunday. She got back earlier as I expected. So Christine and I went to find likthing at around 6pm. She wanted to go for Yee Zin’s wedding buffet dinner at her husband house. We were telling Yee Zin that we will not be going to the buffet as weiling and the gang is not going. If they aren’t going, I can’t go myself as it will be very weird and I am all alone. I wanted to go actually and luckily likthing want to go. Maybe she had missed the morning session so se want to go the buffet, and also we haven’t had our dinner.

We go Yee Zin husband’s house without letting her know and gave her a surprise. She was in the kitchen when we arrived. She is so glad that we showed up and so do I. I think we made the right choice by going to the buffet, because she was all alone and those who showed up in the buffet were mostly relative and friends from her husband side. All the food had finished when we show up at around 8pm. But they had gone to order more food over some restaurant. So we sat inside the house and chit chat with Yee Zin. She is so happy we showed up. We also had lots of photos in her bride room after dinner.

On Sunday morning, likthing and I had nothing to do. So after our brunch in Windmill, we went to MP to get a card for Yee Zin. She says we were her bridesmaid so we no need to give red packets for her dinner. As we didn’t prepare any gift for her, so all of us give her some little red packets as wishes for her and also a card written and signed by all of us.

During the wedding dinner, all of us sat together, including weiling, lingpei, jialing, lichen, kuanyun, Christine, likthing and I. We really had lots of fun the whole night, crazily taking pictures and lots of laughter. Everything that came out from out mouth can become a joke and laugh by everyone. 

During ‘yam seng’ ceremony, the couple and their family will walk from a table to another table. When they reach our table, her brother-in-law forced us to have little alcohol in our drinks. So all of us had it, and then we all shouted ‘yam seng’. I think out table is the best, the most funny, the loudest voice and the happiest table to wish both of them.

We really had lots of fun. Even the waitress that served our table became our friend. The aunty was so funny! She will joke and make fun of us while serving the food to us. We even waited all the guess had left only then we take more pictures with Yee Zin.

Somehow I really feel 依依不舍 when Yee Zin says she has to go back. Some kind of like my sister is married to another family. Now I finally understand what that kind of feeling is. Even though we still can meet as usual, call out and had dinner or a meal together, she is now people’s wife. No matter how minor it is, there will be some differences.

But I am very glad for Yee Zin. As this is what she wished. She shared a lot of things with me even after our secondary school life. I am glad as well as we still keep in touch, and able to celebrate such a great day of hers and make it one of this history in my life.

After her wedding, all of us went to Wing’s Café. Since it’s hard for us to gather, have some chit chat there and more laughter. Even though it’s tired but we are happy. Last time all of us together were during likthing’s 21^st birthday, which was around 3 years back.

On Monday morning before I headed back to Sitiawan, I have breakfast with likthing in the old shop beside our secondary school and had ‘mian fen gao’. It was a shop that we will always have our lunch whenever we have to stay back in school. Finally I am able to taste it after so long. The first time I had it after my secondary school life, and the taste and still the same.

Friendship is something that I treasure; even I have so scarified something in my life, some part of my life. I won’t regret in the decision I’ve made. I am not sure if others are willing to do the same as me. As I have accept the fact that people will not treat you totally as how you treat them. It will be much easier and happier if we don’t look out for returns. I give all my best wishes to Yee Zin and hope she live a happily ever after life......

15^th November 2011 10.15pm

high quality photo credit to Christine Koh