why you become a doctor?

Don't tell me that you want to be a doctor is to help people in sick. It's all nonsense.


The second day in Putrajaya hospital, maybe I have gain more confident. A HO there actually give some 'motivational talk' to my group. Well, it wasn't a formal talk, it's like a discussion among the students and HO. He tell us his experience during his clinical years. I guess we all look so blur that's why he wanted to help us. Maybe he is trying to show his rank as HO compare to us medical student, but I want to think it in positive way. At least he is much more better than other HO and MO who look us with weird eyesight. As if they didn't went through the same route as us.


I actually approached a Chinese HO. End up he give me bad impression of him, and if he is really clever, I will not approach him anymore. We went down to cafeteria together as I am the only Chinese in my group and the Malays are fasting. So I thought I can have lunch with him and know more about the hospital and also clinical years. I actually eat alone at the table in cafeteria, as he went to join his 'own group' and leave me alone. I was like: wtf? you can at least introduce me to your friends or ask me to sit together with you guys to have lunch together. Fine. End of story about him. Really a bad impression.


Seen a lot of cases this 2 days as I tag along the doctor for ward rounds. I can actually learn a lot during the ward rounds and the doctor that ward round today really reach us a lot. Today ward round was done by Dr. Malik. He was funny and a little sarcastic but he is nice and funny. Very interesting during ward round and will not feel bored at all.


I was the only one following them for ward round as my group mates have gone nowhere. There is a Bangladeshis who admitted into the ward and was suspect of having dengue fever. But end up having another diagnosis which is Rheumatic heart disease, which is a very rare case in Malaysia. Even the doctors were so interested in the case. So after listening and discussion about this Bangladeshis illness, Dr. Malik was asking us what's the management for this patient. I didn't expect that he will as me as well. He asked my name, I answered. He say: my name is M and yours is M too! making everyone there laugh out loud. He also say this case is very good for us to learn, especially medical student, as it is rare.


First time ever I really heard a murmur. But there are still a lot of things I still not understand. What diastolic murmur, systolic murmur, S2 bla bla blaaaa... No idea how to differentiate it, even HO don't really know how to differentiate it. Cause it's rare!


The treatment for this patient is valve replacement. It is definitely a very expensive treatment. He has this disease maybe because he has previous history of Rheumatic disease but didn't get a proper treatment when he was young. Mainly because Bangladesh has poor health care system. He can't receive this treatment mainly because he is a Bangladeshi, and it's cost effective. When his employer know his illness, he will be sure to be send back to Bangladesh.


This is so sad. He can't get treatment and he has to live with it for the rest of his life, who don't know will last for how long. We trying to communicate with him, and Dr. Malik actually trying to explain to him about his illness by drawing the heart and valve. We doubted that he understand a single thing we are saying. His face is so clueless and he seem start to worry what's happening on him.


So, are you helping those in sick? No! Cause you can't give them treatment that they need because of so many other factors. He will never know how he died. He has family and children in Bangladesh waiting for him to go back. He come over here to work so hard just to earn a living, yet he is diagnose with this rare disease.



Fair? Totally not.
Help people in sick? Can't.
God? Seem has gone nowhere during this time.
Life? This is life.