best friend's wedding and gathering

I went back to Melaka on Friday afternoon and reach around 5pm. I have no where to stay as I didn’t tell my parents. Yee Zin let me stay in her house because no other friends are willing to let me stay over their house. She says: this is the first time she invite friend to stay over. I say: this will also be the last too. I am so glad that I stay over at her house, knowing her family members.

I woke up at 6am the next morning and Yee Zin woke up earlier than me as she can’t sleep well the night before. She says she keep on dreaming and not able to sleep well. So we had simple breakfast at her house. Around 7am, some of her friends had arrived; make up artist came after that. While setting up her make up, weiling and her gang came as well. Only then her friends that plan the game to fool bridegroom came. So we help them to prepare those games.

The bridegroom and his brothers came around 10am. So we started the same with lots of fun. Luckily all the brothers are quite spotting and played all the game that we design. At last, Yee Zin’s husband reaches the doorstep and asks Yee Zin to married him by singing a song. I can clearly see Yee Zin is so touched and tears in her eyes.

Then tea ceremony to her parents and relative before she go over to the bridegroom’s house, and all of us, her sisters followed as well. Her friend is supposed to be bridesmaid but maybe she was too shy. I become the one who follow and help her to hold her gown.

After we reached his house, after all the traditional ceremony and have some rest over there, we went off after seeing everything is settled. 2 of her husband’s brother send us back to Yee Zin’s house as our car parked there. When we reach her home, no one was at home. I guess they had gone for lunch. Of course, with lots of photos in her husband house!

So we headed to lunch in Korean Restaurant as what we planned earlier. I bought 2 coupons from dealmates weeks before but have no chance to eat together as we are unable to fix a time. Finally we had it today with 6 of us including weiling, jialing, Christine, ling pei, lichen and me. We really enjoy ourselves very much. It’s a really great time for us to gather together.

After lunch, I have no where else to go so I hang over in Christine house, until likthing is back from her SIA interview. She missed the morning session because of the SIA interview that she decided to go last minutes. She promised to let me stay over her house for Saturday and Sunday. She got back earlier as I expected. So Christine and I went to find likthing at around 6pm. She wanted to go for Yee Zin’s wedding buffet dinner at her husband house. We were telling Yee Zin that we will not be going to the buffet as weiling and the gang is not going. If they aren’t going, I can’t go myself as it will be very weird and I am all alone. I wanted to go actually and luckily likthing want to go. Maybe she had missed the morning session so se want to go the buffet, and also we haven’t had our dinner.

We go Yee Zin husband’s house without letting her know and gave her a surprise. She was in the kitchen when we arrived. She is so glad that we showed up and so do I. I think we made the right choice by going to the buffet, because she was all alone and those who showed up in the buffet were mostly relative and friends from her husband side. All the food had finished when we show up at around 8pm. But they had gone to order more food over some restaurant. So we sat inside the house and chit chat with Yee Zin. She is so happy we showed up. We also had lots of photos in her bride room after dinner.

On Sunday morning, likthing and I had nothing to do. So after our brunch in Windmill, we went to MP to get a card for Yee Zin. She says we were her bridesmaid so we no need to give red packets for her dinner. As we didn’t prepare any gift for her, so all of us give her some little red packets as wishes for her and also a card written and signed by all of us.

During the wedding dinner, all of us sat together, including weiling, lingpei, jialing, lichen, kuanyun, Christine, likthing and I. We really had lots of fun the whole night, crazily taking pictures and lots of laughter. Everything that came out from out mouth can become a joke and laugh by everyone. 

During ‘yam seng’ ceremony, the couple and their family will walk from a table to another table. When they reach our table, her brother-in-law forced us to have little alcohol in our drinks. So all of us had it, and then we all shouted ‘yam seng’. I think out table is the best, the most funny, the loudest voice and the happiest table to wish both of them.

We really had lots of fun. Even the waitress that served our table became our friend. The aunty was so funny! She will joke and make fun of us while serving the food to us. We even waited all the guess had left only then we take more pictures with Yee Zin.

Somehow I really feel 依依不舍 when Yee Zin says she has to go back. Some kind of like my sister is married to another family. Now I finally understand what that kind of feeling is. Even though we still can meet as usual, call out and had dinner or a meal together, she is now people’s wife. No matter how minor it is, there will be some differences.

But I am very glad for Yee Zin. As this is what she wished. She shared a lot of things with me even after our secondary school life. I am glad as well as we still keep in touch, and able to celebrate such a great day of hers and make it one of this history in my life.

After her wedding, all of us went to Wing’s Café. Since it’s hard for us to gather, have some chit chat there and more laughter. Even though it’s tired but we are happy. Last time all of us together were during likthing’s 21^st birthday, which was around 3 years back.

On Monday morning before I headed back to Sitiawan, I have breakfast with likthing in the old shop beside our secondary school and had ‘mian fen gao’. It was a shop that we will always have our lunch whenever we have to stay back in school. Finally I am able to taste it after so long. The first time I had it after my secondary school life, and the taste and still the same.

Friendship is something that I treasure; even I have so scarified something in my life, some part of my life. I won’t regret in the decision I’ve made. I am not sure if others are willing to do the same as me. As I have accept the fact that people will not treat you totally as how you treat them. It will be much easier and happier if we don’t look out for returns. I give all my best wishes to Yee Zin and hope she live a happily ever after life......

15^th November 2011 10.15pm

high quality photo credit to Christine Koh

too sensitive

kinda regret when i view those photos, blogs and a lot more...
which make me feel really left out.
seem like i am not part of your life, i missed a lot event.

somehow i used to being alone. not a big deal after all.
get use to it and life just moved on.
i never have my real own gang, either i am just a visitor to the gang, or just an outsider.

even the treatment is different. just feel that i am treated differently.
birthday celebration and present? that make me jealous.
guess that i will continue being a thicked face person stick around you.

ignore it. i'm just being too sensitive tonight.

surgery posting

i'm in my surgery posting now for the third week. have been enjoy my posting very much but wasn't so happy cause we are not in the same group as IM. but still, i will try to enjoy myself as much as possible.

has been stay at home seen last wednesday and refuse to go and stay in samudera beach resort cause so use to staying at home. last week, we were asked to go to Serdang hospital as Dr Ngoo went to motor GP and there were no doctor in terendak to teach us. so AAA want us to go Serdang hospital as there will have more patients and we can learn more.

so i travel to cyberjaya on tuesday right after class. clerked a patient in serdang hospital on that day! on the next day, so nervous if i have to present to AAA. he arrived at around 11am. keep asking 'who want to present?', 'where is your case?' for so many times yet nobody want to volunteer. i guess everyone is scared of him.

so i volunteer, he ask: where is your patient? luckily my patient had back from scanning cause he wasn't as his bed this morning. after present my patient's history, he ask me to examine the patient. i was so regret that i did not revise it the night before cause i was so tired traveling from melaka to cyberjaya. so i tried my best examine the patient. and of course, there is bunch of questions coming from AAA and keep asking me why i do this why i do that, what had i missed, what else to inspect/examinine. it's like the real life of medical school. i guess we has been too comfortable in previous posting.

then all of us was so down cause we feel we are so stupid. i shouldn't be saying i was happy cause not only me don't know how to answer the question but the whole group can't answer his questions as well. means that i am not the worst and i have chance to get better. and this motivate me a lot!

my case was acute pancreatitis which is the core knowledge in surgery. i guess AAA get satisfied when i got this case and we have 1 more case for BST and he release us. we get 2 days leave in exchange for going to serdang hospital.

i am so satisfied as i am able to present my very first presentation in surgery and i am the first one to present after all. and i get 7.5/10 of marks. it was quite a surprise as i thought i did badly. when he wrote the marks in my log book, i am so satisfied. i had prepare for the worst as in getting less than 5. so i happily go back melaka after i get the information of my patient as this is be my case write up as well. and at night, i get a surprise! so so soooo happy!!!





it was very frustrating as the nurses in Serdang hospital is not helpful at all. i tried to ask them to teach me to use the computer system in their hospital and all of them actually ignore me. yes! IGNORE. don't say i am rude or did not ask permission or whatsoever. cause i tried my best to approach them, smile when i talk to them, saying can you pleaseeeeeeeee..... and their reply was: a while i am busy, can you wait a while, 'walk pass me', ignore what i just say.....

and there is a HO who are totally unprofessional at all!! when i asked her, she just ignore me and when my groupmate approach her which is a male, she teach him so happily wtf! hiao to the max

finally after getting through all the challenges, i get the information that i wanted, by the help of a male staff nurse and a chinese HO. don't say i am racist but chinese tend to help chinese more. didn't have anything in my stomach from morning until 3.30pm. i am hungry to the max that i can eat a cow. guess that's the life of a doctor. but... i am not a doctor yet!!!

had a very simple birthday celebration with Sin Toun in cyberjaya on the day before!











enjoy my 2 days holiday with outing with likthing and vicky. and that really make me regret as i should spent more time on study.

helped vicky to choose her wedding dress on last sunday! i'm so happy she's getting married, by the right way, not due to pregnancy or whatsoever accident. haha!! and then only i realize i was at manjung during her wedding. i'm so going to break my head thinking how to come back to attend her wedding!!!

went into OT on Monday to witness a open herniotomy. such a great experience. even though we have to stand for 3 freaking hours. this is only herniotomy, what about heart surgery??? 10 hours???

get to witness OGDS and colonoscopy on Tuesday as the patient i clerk accidentally have to go through the procedure. an when Dr Ngoo ask who clerk this patient, i answer and he say i get to go into OT! such a surprise. but even if Dr Ngoo is very kind but he is strict and stingy in giving marks! my case presentation with him only get 6.5. such a disappointment. AAA can give higher marks than him. this make me like AAA more now even though i was complaining about him few weeks ago! haha...



something about IM exam, i get Dr Nor Izham as examiner and he just let us to clerk and examine the patient and present the case to him. it went very very well and he say well done!

i accompanied my dad to 2 conferences during the few days before the next posting and it was interested as well!

You can shed tears that she is gone

my neighbor had passed away yesterday morning, the one i wrote about 4 months ago.(here)

it was quite a surprise actually. everything was normal when i pass by their house that morning when i went to terendak hospital. then in the evening when i came home, i saw a paper with name and arrow showing direction to some house, where you can find it when there is people pass away. it wasn't there in the morning so i was quite curious about it. i didn't have to chance to see clearly.

so when i took the junction to my house, i saw there are people in my neighbor's house trying to set up the tent. only then i know she passed away.

went to pay respect this morning before sending my sister off to her college. her eldest son is my sister classmate in primary school. 

how sad to think of her kids are still so young and she already passed away. her second son which have autism was crying and ask why his mother leave him... he has autism but he is clever, and his mom spent so much time on him so that he will be able to live a normal life... how much a mom can scarified for her son...

when there is funeral, it's full of sorrow. i don't know should i define it as good or bad, as she finally freed from all the suffer, but being left behind her family, that's sad.

it's so hard to face separation. 

after some time, we will get use to it. as if they have went to somewhere else for holiday... just like my friend Sandra, my grandfather and grandmother, and my neighbor.......

You can shed tears that she is gone

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

-Anon-

recaps

wanted to blog very long ago... but i keep procrastinate and now i have forgotten what i wanted to wrote in the first place.

basically its all about my clinical years...

witnessed lumbar puncture and IJC insertion last 2 weeks.

OGDS last friday...

and lots of angiogram procedure as 1 of our teacher is a cadiologist.

i consider myself to be very lucky to be able to witness all of this even i am only 3rd year.

went out for dinner in asam pedas claypot for second time with my ex-classmate, which include wanda, gaya, tasha and alyse. it's so fun to see them back again.

friend is just you have things to talk after didn't meet for so long!

drive all the way from terendak to jialing's house for BBQ session. without LP kinda weird. it's like our thing. had a lot of BBQ this year!

went to duck mee stall for ice after bbq.

don't ask me where there written 3.6%. i have totally no idea!

it was given by Dr Rosman during clinic session...

i enjoy being in terendak because i enjoy food. but my groupmates aren't eating type of person, so i mix with another groups better. we eat on time. right on that particular time, we all will be hungry.

chicken rice, nasi kampung, rojak etc etc etc... delicious!!!

this was during preparation before OGDS. just a few pic of it. 

when surgery come, it will be tonnes of pic of this i guess!! 

btw! long case exam on this wednesday and my examiner is Dato Dr Nor Izham!!!! and it will be in putra specialist hospital! omg omg!!! wish me luck!!! first exam ever in clinical year!!!

1st week in terendak

Lack of update lately. Mainly due to no internet connection in Terendak camp, secondly is due to my busy and hectic schedule in clinical years. Had a long weekend break but I wasted my Friday to work part time in Clinique. Then I was so regretted whole day there, so I decided to not work on Saturday and Sunday.

In Terendak Hospital was fun! The doctors there are so good, compared to those in Putrajaya. They really treat us like student and not HOs or MOs. The most important thing is, in Terendak Hospital, there aren't any Hos or Mos!!! haha! We are like the doctors there and no need to see those people faces like in Putrajaya. Some of the nurses there were helpful as well.


Do. Rosman and Dr. Ali are the doctors there. Dr. Rosman was kinda hot and he is chinese looking. When we saw him for the first time, I thought he was chinese, until he greet us in Islamic way wtf. He is quite funny as well. Dr. Ali is very very funny. He is not kiasu type unlike Dr. Rosman. So happy go lucky and during his class, it's fun and enjoying.


We actually act like a HO in hospital. Every morning we have to clerk the patient and give updates and progression to the doctor as we go for ward rounds. Some time we feel pity to both of the doctors cause they have to take history and do physical examination themselves unlike in HPJ there is HO and MO which had done the job.




On Tuesday, we have class in Putra Hospital. Not Putrajaya but Putra. The Melaka Southan hospital which later change its name to Putra Hospital. Dr Nor Izham, which is a cardiologist is teaching us once a week. So that day I drove my groupmate there as they are not familiar with the place. We hand lunch at mamak stall near Hang Tuah street. There is a disable boy selling tissue there. He is not only disable but also mentally retarded I think. No other words than retarded? sound so rude! And so we saw he is walking towards us, he was selling tissue and was saying Rm1 for 1 pack of tissue. Even though it's quite expensive, but we still bought it. He is much more better than those who are asking for money than really work hard to earn money. He is pity, but I doubt he want people to feel pity towards him.


After lunch we went to Putra hospital and Dr Izham bring us to a patient, as us to take his history and examine him. He had stroke few days ago and his signs and symptoms are obvious, but he is recovering as well. After that we have to present to Dr Izham and he will correct us if we were wrong. Then we encounter another patient in his clinic. She is a chinese lady who came to get medicine. Dr Izham out of sudden ask us to go into his clinic and ask us to examine this chinese lady. When his chest wall is exposed, the heart beat is so obvious. We can see the heart hitting the wall. When palpate 4 ares, there is apex beat, parasternal heave and palpable aortic and pulmunary area. When auscultate, there is mixture of murmur, S1 and S2 heart sound and it was so loud. This chinese lady has ventricular septal defect (VSD), probably for a very long time but didn't seek and treatment. But she still can live a very healthy normal life until recently she feel uncomfortable so she is seeking medical help. How often we can see a real life case of this? Even though VSD is very common, most of them will get surgical treatment when they were small, or after born, depends on the defect itself. I feel so lucky to have the chance to see and experience it.


At night, I join Jac and her group for Mid-Autumn celebration. We light lantern and also share a piece of mooncake among 10 people I guess.

There was a very funny incident when we had ward round on either Wednesday or Thursday. A patient had a crush on Dr Rosman! We were doing ward round in the female ward and there was this patient with right side eye defect. Dr Rosman was asking the patient to look his finger and follow the movement of the finger. In the same time we are suppose to hold the patient's chin so that she will not move around by turning her head. But when Dr Rosman want to hold her chin, she keep avoiding. Until Dr Rosman tell her: let me hold your chin. But the patient was soooo shy and she put down her head. It was so obvious and she say she is shy. My room mate clerk the patient and she told me the day before, the female patient say that Dr Rosman is handsome. hahahaha... and she actually only few years older than Dr Rosman but he call her Mak Cik!!! wtf!!! Of course it's because he didn't realize the age difference and he actually look a lot younger than his age. But still!!! This let me learn that don't simply call people uncle or aunty. It will be better if address people as Miss or Mr.


On Wednesday night we went out for dinner and also birthday celebration for Ehsan. We were actually split into 2 sub group in Terendak and most of them are from group B. My group was boring. I have to say that. When we already plan to go for dinner in Melaka town, I am the only girl from group A as the other 3 of them aren't joining. It was so disappointing. Why can't we go out as a group? Well, no comment. But I had fun with another group and guys from my group. The asam pedas claypot was awesome! Totally worth it as we don't know the way and was wrongly guided by Syue's friend. At last when we found it, it was around 8pm and all of us are starving! I feel hungry now when think about it. Should bring my friend there and try it one day. I actually pass by that area so many times but we never bother to go and try the food there. The stall is open by a chinese-muslim. He is so chinese look and we were all discussing about him after dinner. Cause he speak fluent Malay!!! and he understand chinese when a chinese customer talk to him in chinese. All of us get curious and test him. As in order plain water in chinese and my friend talk to him in chinese. At last all of us can't stand it anymore and Ehsan ask him if he is chinese or malay. Hahahahahaha... totally hilarious! He say he is chinese and has a 11 years old son. ok fine! haha...

Bought a cake along the way back from dinner when we suddenly realize nobody actually help Ehsan pay his dinner bill. Guys are so useless!! So we gave him a birthday surprise! He was in toilet when we were at his room. -____-!!!! All of us really enjoy so much!

痛

为什么需要有痛?


今天上完课就到医院去，当时已经是下午5点多了。去医院是为了准备明天的报告演示。
当时有几个实习医生还在轮班。跟他们了打个招呼，其中一个医生很友善的告诉我有几个不错的病列可以去看看。


另外一个实习医生说他们正要为一个病人输入中心静脉压(CVP)，问我要不要去看。既然有机会，当然要去观察他们如何输入CVP。


病人是一个末期肺癌患者，看起来大约60岁，很无助的躺在病床上。有好几位实习医生站在床边协助。实习医生小心翼翼的找病人右手边的静脉，找得并不容易。终于决定要输入中心静脉压，可是事了很多次都不成功。虽然已经在病人的手上注射了局部麻醉，病人还是觉得痛。虽然病人非常合作，可是就是可以很明显的听到他忍住痛楚的声音。


试了两次，终于放弃。实习医生决定用左手输入中心静脉压，还好一次就顺了输入。可是当他们要把病人躺下，取得中心静脉压的读数，病人一直说很痛。我们也不知道他那里痛。也许是他的癌细胞扩散到骨头所以觉得痛。要取得中心静脉压的读数需要一点时间。我们很努力劝病人在忍以下，再过一下子就好了。他也很合作的忍住痛楚。可是过了不久病人又喊痛，还说救命，求求我们赶快让他坐起来。


当时我很无助，不知道要怎样劝他，也不知道要怎样安慰他、帮助他。为什么要有癌症？难道就因为他抽烟，现在他所受的痛楚都是应该的？都是报应？我心里也有点挣扎，好像有两人在争论。一个天使，一个恶魔。一个在可怜他，另一个却说这是他应得的报应，为什么要可怜他？


其实这是我第二次见证中心静脉压的输入过程。第一次的老公公也是一直说痛，我也只好跟他说，一下子就好了，在一下子......


为什么过程一定要有痛？可以不可以是没有痛的？我真得很希望他们不会有痛的感受。


医生不是应该减轻病人的痛楚吗？为什么却好像在增加他们的痛楚呢？

Book Fest 2011- Dr. George Lee

Lets rewind back to last Saturday, which I really hope I have a doraemon to help me do it.


Went to Book Fest 2011 in KLCC together with Lee since he's going too. Not really confident to go by myself so I tag along with him. I want to see Dr. George Lee which is a urologist and is teaching in Monash now. I first read his article in Sinchiew newspaper and I really like it. It's sentimental and mostly about his own feeling towards his life, work, family and so on. He is launching his new book on that day. Last year he came out with his first book "make each day count", I didn't make it to his book launching event and didn't get to meet him and get his signature. But I am lucky enough to have my friend, Xiang to bought it and get his signature. His first book articles are mostly same in the newspaper, it's like a collection of his article.

So I went and see him in person. It's so fun to hear his talk and I actually recorded it. I just want to show it to my aunt because she likes him too! She also read his article in newspaper too. She actually in love with his words and become worst than me. She even phoned me and talk about his book!

I bought 4 books in total, all of his books. 1 was published last year which I helped my aunt to buy it, another 3 were for me, my aunt and Xiang. He bought for me last year and this year it's my turn to return to him. All with signature!

He has a huge amount of reader and fans, some is his patients and some is his student. The autograph session last for at least 1 hour. The queue was so long. He actually say 'sorry for waiting' to most of the people. Had photograph with him too! So excited!


While waiting for his signature, a guy call Frederick talk with me. Out of sudden he was behind me. It was a girl behind me when queuing. I have no idea when he appear behind me.
He says: you're so greedy, bought so many books.
I answered (out of surprise, cause a stranger talking to me): oh... I helped people to buy.

Then he continue the conversation asking my name and his name and if I were still studying or working and so on... Well, it's very weird and kind of awkward. I just can't keep quiet and don't talk to him, it's not polite. My friend wasn't beside me so I can't get out of it. He was actually the guy who give support to Dr. George Lee when it was open to the crowd to ask question. He says Dr. George life value is very good, as he still come back to Malaysia after so many years in oversea.... etc. I don't know why he talk to me, even ask me to talk photo of him with George Lee and ask me email him. He actually reply my email saying he will add me in fb and ask me to approve him. Too bad, so far I guess he still can't find me in fb. haha!

I was so happy last weekend! Meet him in person are great!


p/s: left out a small little part. I actually meet my online chat friend. practically doesn't count as 'meet' cause only i saw him. he didn't saw me. we never meet before, never have face to face interaction but i just know it's him for the very first sight. sms and ask if he was in KLCC and he was so surprise i know his location. he actually check if his phone got auto check-in in fb but not. HAHAHA!!! well. it's so funny, and surprising as well. this is what call fate.

fall

when is the last time i fall down? as in walking and and trip and fall down.
i have forgotten the last time i fall, and today, i fall down.
stretched my hand and it's just a small scratch on it...
what happened to me in this week?

mermaid princess

people just leave, without reason...

i'm just like a mermaid, quietly stand by your side.... one day, i just disappear like bubble (if you ever read about mermaid princess)