moment of life and death

I was woke up by the door bell of my home, look at my phone and it shows 6.30am. I wonder who will come and ring our door bell at this time. I was awake and waiting my mom to respond. Her room door did not open, and the door bell keep on ringing. So I get off from my bed, getting my spec and walk downstair.

Standing in front of my house sliding door, trying to look outside at hard as possible. It was still dark, I can't see anything, nobody it outside the house. I did not think of open my house door. Who knows what's outside my house. I'm trying so hard if I see any familiar face. But no one.

 "Who's pressing my door bell?" asked inside my heart. "Did I heard wrongly?" "Did the door bell even ring?" so many question pop out in my mind. Stand at the sliding door for quite some times. No more door bell ringing, and no one is outside my house. "Why the door bell ring?" "Did it even ring?" "Did I hear something that other people don't, since last time I hear Mario theme song?" So I walk up to my room again, with tonnes of questions in my mind. "Did I really heard wrongly? But it was so clear!"

Just when I stepped into my room, the door bell ring again! I was like: seriously?! wtf!! I ask my sleeping-soundly-sis "Did you hear that?" she answered "yes........" and continue her sleep. Proof that I did not heard anything that aren't suppose to be heard. I walk downstair again.

Standing at the sliding door again trying to search if there is any people. Then I saw a familiar face, she is Simon's maid. So I open the door and asked her what happened. She asked if my dad is awake, I say not yet. She says 'she' can't breath and its breathlessness. I am not very sure who is the 'she' so I thought it was her master's daughter. She has asthma.

I ran upstair and knock my mom's room's door. Mom opened the door and ask what? I ask: Didn't you heard the door bell ringing? She says no. So I told her what happened in short and ask her to wake my dad up. She just answer ok then she close her room door. Then I ask over the door: are you going to wake dad up?  Because she doesn't seem like going to wake him up. The moment she close the door is like she's going bed to sleep again. Her mood changed and say: give us some times to prepare!

Then I went downstair again. The maid is still outside and I ask what happened. She says is another neighbor's wife can't breath. Now only I realize what really happened. My neighbor wife which was having a nerve disease and she was paralyzed. Day by day she loss her motor function, as in she can't walk, then later can't lift her hand, can't move her neck. Day by day it progressed to something worst. Now she is in total paralyzed, not even can swallow her food. So I went up to tell my mom it's actually Aunty L who is having the problem.

My mom was start to mumble and I was annoyed. She was saying we can't help even we were there, we don't have oxygen etc etc. In my heart thinking: people think our house have doctor and nurse and they don't know what to do now. Even we can't help at least you still can help out something right?! Just go and see what happened first! Your sleep is so important?! I just did not say out. These days, I start to keep words that's harsh inside my heart. Better don't say it when you might regret later.

So every neighbor is awake. Simon's dad was standing outside their house, telling the maid to do something. YH's parent were there too. His mom went over to Aunty L house and make phone call to ambulance. My parent went into the house and Aunty L's husband was at his wife bedside. I am not sure what he was doing but I saw their daughter, standing outside the room and look so nervous and helpless. So I went over and comfort her, she was trying very hard to keep her tears back.

I just stand outside the room, since my parent were helping inside. Aunty L was chocked by her phlegm. She can't cough it out so it was stuck and block her breathing. Her husband says her face colour changed. My mom winded up the bed, trying to make her sit up. My dad says there is a lot phlegm inside her lung. Honestly, we really can't do anything. No oxygen in their house and no phlegm sucker to suck the phlegm out. Just trying to make sure that Aunty L is able to breath.

While they were discussing what happened before this, suddenly, I heard Aunty L's husband shouting. I am not sure she's bitting her tongue or what. My mom ran to their kitchen and find a spoon. Her husband was asking her to be strong, shouting "don't give up!", "you can't do this to me!", "be strong!", "oh God, don't let this happened". I feel my heart is so heavy. I actually thought she was killing herself.

Aunty L was in V-fib. Meaning her heart is not contract properly. I don't know what I feel at that moment. It was the moment of life and death. Either she make it or not. And her husband was calling her name, asking her not to do this to him., not to leave him, trying to do CPR to her......

The ambulance arrived. I think it took around half an hour which consider quite fast. The medical assistant went into the room, and they look 'don't know what to do'. So we asked for the troli and asked them to send Aunty L to hospital. I saw her eyes was open, maybe her V-fib is over.

After the ambulance is gone, the neighbors and my parent start discussing. And I walked back home, with lots of thoughts in my mind.


I thought I am brave, but seem like I'm so weak.
I''m getting panic so easily when I shouldn't be.
I'll try to improve myself to be a better me.
God, please, bless each and every family......