Sunday, August 31, 2008

可不可以让我一步,让我赢一下...。would you step one step behind, let me win for once…

已经很久没有上网以及更新我的部落格了。每 个星期都过的很不一样。之前两个星期我都特别的压力。每个星期一都是全新的开始,可是到星期三或星期四时,我的心情渐渐陷入低潮。星期一、二,我都可以开 开心心的,一直到星期三,我可以动不动就掉眼泪。很容易的,没理由的,眼泪可以不知不觉从眼眶掉下。前两个星期我都是那么过的。我知道自己的情绪上受到很 大的影响,我不可再在这样下去。我只是开学一个月还没到一年就有这么多压力的症状,我要这么度过我那沉重的五年啊?而且有点像忧郁症的前兆。

Haven’t been online and update my blog for quite a long time. Every week is a different week. 2 weeks before I am so much in stress. I begin every week with fresh start, but on Wednesday or Thursday, I will feel so down and unhappy. On Monday and Tuesday I am a happy girl, but when reach Wednesday and Thursday, my tears just dropped so easily. Very easy without any reason, my tears just fall down from my eyes. I know that I am being very emotional mentally, and I know I can’t continue to be like this. This is only the first month of my studies and I already having so much stress, how should I continue my 5 years course? And I’m having some psychology symptom.

最大的敌人还是自己。我就是过不了自己的那 一关。也许我给自己的压力太大了。虽然每次的考试我都及格,而且一次比一次进步,可是却达不到我的满意。或许,我的期望太高了,我给自己的目标太遥远了。 我想要比很多人更好,可是我达不到那个目标。我很努力,可是我的成绩只是于平均。我不满意,也不服气。比别人付出更多,却得不到别人的一半。

The biggest enemy is my own self. Maybe I gave myself too much stress. Even though I pass my every test, even better then the test before that, but still can’t reach my expectation. Maybe I gave too high expectation to myself, and my aims were too far. I want to be much more better then other people, but I can’t reach for my aims. I worked very hard, but my result was average. I am not satisfied, and I don’t. I put upon so much hard work compare to others, but I didn’t get what I should have.

人比人,会比死人。就是因为比较让我自己陷 入很深的低潮。虽然现在心理还没真正的平衡回,但至少比前两个星期好很多了。我不去在乎我的成绩。星期五考完考试就回家,不要等待成绩出炉。当讲师念得到 的学生时,要一直提醒自己的名字是不会出现的。成绩怎样都好,至少及格就够了。已经尽力的就不需要后悔。每次我都需要这样的安慰自己。要找人诉说,好像没 有一个是适合的对象。

Compare too much will make one so suffer. This is the reason I dropped into my own trap. I am much better compare to last 2 weeks, even my emotional was not balance yet. I don’t really care about the result after test. Every Friday I will go back without waiting my result to post out. When the lecture calls out names that get A’s, I will not hope for my name to review. No matter how is my result, at least I passed it. The important is I did my best and nothing for me to regret. I used to comfort myself every time after exam. Want to find someone to talk about, but I just can’t found that perfect person.

有时会觉得很累,争都不想争了。有时连话都不想说,保持沉默不是一件很难的事。有时不想理会身边发生的事。有时遇到那一些一步都不想退一步的人,宁愿自己吞下算了。也许一个很虚伪的微笑不一切都带过。

Sometimes I felt so tired, don’t feel like fighting. Sometimes I don’t want to split out any word, being silence is not a hard thing. Sometimes I don’t even care what happened around me. Sometimes I meet someone who doesn’t want to step back, I would rather swallow all the suffering myself. Maybe a fake smile would let go everything.

我亲爱的朋友,有时发生争执或意见不和时,可不可以让我一步,让我赢一下...

My very dear friend, some times when having different point of view or some little disagreement, would you step one step behind, let me win for once…


31/08/08

Friday, August 22, 2008

精彩的学院生活 。my U life

开学已有一个星期了。这一个星期以来我都过得很好。

开学的第一个星期就已经有
4assignment了。而且都是前一天才放上学院的网站,我们第二天就要在班上呈现。还好的是都是group assignment,要不然我也不知道怎么把它做完。

很多意想不到的事发生,让我觉得开学真好。


It’s already a week since I started my school. This whole week was so good for me.

I have 4 assignments since the first week of study. They post the assignment to student portal one day before the due date. Luckily it’s was a group assignment, if not I don’t know how will I be able to finished it.

A lot of things happened, which make me feel school life is really nice.





my mom





my godmother


Orientation的那几天我的我的室友相处得非常好。原本我是我家里唯一的华人,我妈妈一直说服我找另外一个华人一起住。过后我才发现到其实每间家都只有一个华人,所以根本就没有分别。我们hostel是校方安排的,可是我们并不是住在学校里面,只是first year时一定要住校方安排的住宿。比起别人我真得觉得我这间家的人都非常好。有些人和室友不合啦!也有些也一直向校方要求换屋子。其实都很难可以换到,而且要经过讲师的批准。这次的orientation比以前foundation时的来的无聊。


I mix well with my housemate from the orientation day. I am the only Chinese in my house, my mom keep on pursuit me to find another Chinese girl to stay with. But then I found out that each house only have 1 chinese. Can you imagine how few Chinese in my school? Our hostel was organize by the college, but we aren’t staying in the college’s hostel, only the first year we need to stay under college. Compare with other friends, I think my housemate is the best. We already work together very well. Unlike other housemate, they ask for house changing or group changing. We need lecture approver for the changed. The orientation this year was much more boring then last time my foundation’s orientation.




my orientation group members









my housemate






my room-mate







星期一


当天我就已经和敏、cindy、珍、旸还有敏的哥哥,威、威的女友,琳,还有两个新进来的药剂科系的学生,罗赫文,一起吃火锅晚餐。其实应该说,他们全部都是读药剂系的,就除了我是医学系的。没办法啊!foundation时我们就已经认识了,当然会比较亲。


Monday


Today I ate steamboat together with mei, cindy, Amanda, zaiyang and also mei’s brother, wei, his girlfriend, ling, and another 2 new comers which study pharmacy, loh and wen. Actually I am the only one who studying medicine. Other of them were all studying pharmacy.



星期二


我 们这一班的人又一起去吃晚餐。我想那两个 新来的学生会被我们这一群神经的人吓倒。很不明白的是他们那一群人一直捉弄我和文,好像叫他追我那样,又故意让他坐在我的旁边。我对他们这下无聊的举动没 什么反应,可是好像吓倒文了。哈哈。罗更好笑。他跟文说:要就赶快从这几个女生选一个,不然你就只剩下包头的可以选了。


Tuesday


We all together went to eat dinner again. I think the 2 new comers will be very surprise by this group of crazy people. I don’t understand why they all like to make fun of me and the new guy, wen, as if keep on encourage him to court after me, and then purposely let him sit beside me. I am feeling-less with their lame act. Then loh is so funny. Haha… He told wen: if you want then you better choose one among this few girls, if not you only can choose the other girl with wrap headed. (muslims)





星期三


就当我走去敏的家吃晚餐时,路上我遇到Lam。相隔了那么就我们终于在路上遇到。虽然住在同一个住宿区,我们却好像从来没有碰见对方。当时天很黑,我想他应该没有注意到我,一直到他从我身边经过时我才叫他。他看起来有点惊讶,但是还是跟我聊了一下子。他还是老样子,我递一眼就认出他了。


Wednesday


On the way to mei’s house for dinner, I saw Lam. After so long, at last we met on this road. Although we stay in the same area but we never met. That day was so dark, I think he will never notice me, until he passed by me only I call him. he was quite surprise, but he still talk with me for a while. He is still the same old him, I can recognize him by the first look.










星期四


我没有想到在开学的第一个星期就有人向我表白。只是我不知道他是不是认真的。F也是我在foundation就认识了,只是当时我重读一个sem,所以他现在是我的学长。我们一向以来都有保持联络,只是一直以来我都觉得我们就只是普通朋友,他也不会对我有任何的感觉。开学的前几天也有问我开学的准备。


Thursday


I didn’t thought that someone will actually confess to me in this ever first week open school. I don’t know he was serious or just kidding. I knew F since foundation, but then I repeat 1 sem so he is my senior now. We still keep in touch even thought we aren’t the same year anymore, but we are just normal friends which I think he won’t has feelings toward me.





昨天我在学校又看到他,当时他是背向我的,所以我就打了他的背后以下,疑似打招呼。他一回头,我回他一笑我就走掉了。当时我赶去买文具,因为下一堂课就快要开始了。当天晚上他就穿了一封简讯给我。


Yesterday I saw him along the sideway in college, he was facing back to me, so I just tap on his back, and then reply a smile when he turn back. Just a normal saying ‘hi’. Then I rush to buy some stationary before the next class which going to start in few minutes.

That night he sms me.




“我不准你以后拍我一下后就跑掉,不管你跑到哪里我都会追到你。”

“I will never allow you to run away from me like today anymore, I will chase you no matter where you go.”








当时我看着封简讯时是没有感觉到什么,可是现在回想起来,他好像开始对我暧昧了吧!


I didn’t feel anything when I read this message, but now when I think back. He seems to has special meaning in it.





今天晚上他就穿了一封简讯为我。


He sms-ed me tonight.





“你是个很好的朋友,我想我应该考虑你成为我的女朋友。你要不要?”

“ hey, you’re such a nice friend… think I might consider taking you as my girlfriend la. Want?”



我看到这封简讯时就有点吓倒,就会想起昨天他传给我的简讯,才发现到原来昨天他已有表示。


I am a totally shock when I read this message, then I though back what he sms me last night, he seems like have some kind of showing since yesterday.



我没有正面的回答他的问题,然后转移话题。聊了一下他又回到原来的问题。


I didn’t reply him directly, then trying to change the topic. But after a few chat he was back to his main question.



“现在已经很晚了,只有情人才会传简讯。那你现在是不是我的女朋友?”

“ anyway, its getting late now. Only lovers texting in middle of night. Are you my girlfriend or what?



他太直接了吧!我没有办法,就只好以开玩笑的方式回复他。


He is way too straight forward! I have no choice, then I reply him like sort of kidding.



“你是不是认真的?我是你的女性朋友。哈哈!当然我们还是好朋友。”

“ are you serious?? I am your girl’s friend. Haha! Of course we are still good friend.”



他的回复:


“我当然是认真的,以开玩笑的方式。”

“of course I am serious, in a kidding way.”



我真得很不明白,我们什么时候有了化学作用。我真得那么后知后觉吗?


I am totally in blurr, since when we have chemistry to each other? Am I so slow as in this feelingsss??





我只能说,他再错的时间对错的人有感觉。


I only can say that, he had the feeling with the wrong people in wrong timing.





星期五


我每个星期五会有考试,而且成绩在短短几分钟后就会揭晓。我这次很害怕自己会过不了,还好我及格了,可是我很不满意我的成绩。我想我应该可以做得更好的。我现在缺乏的是一股推动力。


今天我在走廊遇见F,他也停下来和我聊天,我有点尴尬。我觉得我对他开始有一种‘保持距离’的感觉。好像不可以像以前那样很开放的聊天。





Friday


Each Friday I have assessment, and the result will be posted in a few minutes time. I was so worry that I will fail as they says there are 12 people fail, but luckily I passed. But I am not satiscfied with my result. I think I can do better then this. But I am lacking of motivation.


Today I say F in college, and he stopped by and talk with me. I am quite shy I think. I feel as I keeping a distance from him. as if I can’t talk with him so openly like last time.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

damn orientation

damn orientation!
i am here typing this while half the world of people are still sleeping soundly.
it's just 5 am in the morning and i am awake, sitting in college auditorium.
just can't believe that my college orientation want us to stay overnight in college for one night.
we slept at 1am and wake up at 4.30am.
this craziness will never happened in other college or university.
should i feel proud of it???
nah.......
just because they want to pray in college and we have to suffer in here.
gosh! fine!
stop all the complainings and learn appreciate...
it's finishing anyway my orientation... hehe... this should be the happy part.
and my class start on monday...
my college life is starting now!!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

mixed feelings

i am going back to college tomorrow!!!
i am excited but in the same time i feel the other way...
maybe i had my holidays for too long...
imagine holidays for 8 months!!!
i am relaxing and having my own sweet times and never touch any books...
and now i have to go back to study and busy life...
hopefully i can cope with it...
i will sure for meeting new people, having new friends and housemate.
medicine will be very hard and need a lot of hard work...
i think i can handle it. i have to know how to handle it...
gosh... first year in college feel like scary... hahaha...
wish me luck! i will be very great!

Vietnam trip . part 6

第六天:
我们的早餐是在一间小店面,吃了牛肉猪脚面。那里的肉块都是大大片的。越南的卫生不是很好,他们吃了就随口把骨头吐在地上,所以可以看到整个地上都是骨头和卫生纸,难得一间的壮观。Vu早上带我们到瀑布去,那里的瀑布也是要付入门票的。我们尚金马伦时去半山的瀑布哪里需要付钱啊!付钱后我们便一路往上爬。到达瀑布时那里的人潮真的是吓死人,我们更不可能下水嬉戏,只是拍了几张照片,吃了一点小吃那样。

Day 6:
we had breakfast in a little shop, ate beef noodles with pork. the meat there were so big piece. the place were very dirty as everyone just ate and split out the bones and throw the tissue on the floor. then Vu bring us to a waterfall, again we need to pay before we enter there. we don't need to pay when we stop at the halfway of the mountain in Cameron Highland man... there were crowded with people and people. we can't even touch the water... we just took soome pictures and ate some of the food.












要回去是我们就要做缆车,而Vu说沿着刚才那条路作走回去吧,因为是要付钱的!我们还是要做那缆车,Vu也没办法所以最后我们都做缆车上去。原来路程就那么的短,都没拍到几张照片就到山上了,怪不得刚才Vu一直不让我们做缆车。

when we going back to the top hill we refuse to walk as it was so tiring, we went to take the roller coaster but Vu says we better walk because it need to pay. but we still insist to sit roller coaster, Vu has no choice but to sit the roller coaster with us. the journey was so short aren't like we walk up the mountain. no wonder Vu wants us to walk.














what the hell is she doing...
this lady wore high heels and cheongsam to climb up the mountain and the waterfall??????


i saw this horse... its eyes look so sad












pretty little lady




and stupid man... hahaha











selling food


don't ask me cause i can't understand...














this taufu was so nice!






the roller coaster






然后我们就到一间寺庙去,那里的建筑的风景都很漂亮,在那里我们也只是走走看看拍拍照。

then we went to a temple for visit, the building and scenery there were so beautiful.






































































backside






look like marching... hahaha


everyone was so natural except one stupid guy... hahaha






















they eat their lunch while working... haha


mei was trying to blow it


another stupid lady again...
wear high heels and walk in the temple at last it was too painful i think then she laying on that guy.


我们到一间小餐馆享用我们的午餐,他们的服务还真得很好,从帮你开门下车到带你到楼上就座。在那里我们也吃得很开心。这一餐的鱼特别多。 we had lunch at a small restaurant, and we ate happily. the services there were so good. they served you from open the van door until bring you to the up. this meal have so much fish dish.




this salad was so delicious












午餐后,Vu就带我们去喝咖啡。越南人的生活就是那么的简单。整天就是喝咖啡、喝咖啡。过后我们就到市场去逛逛,我只买了一点送给亲友的小吃。过后我们就到咖啡店去买咖啡,在那里我就真的扫货,买了好几公斤的咖啡。哈哈哈。卖完我们需要买的东西后就会酒店休息。

after lunch, Vu bring us to had some coffee. vietnamese life was so relaxing. everyday coffee and coffee. after that we went to market for some shopping. i bought some snack for family and friends. then i bought coffee too, there i don't know bought how many KG's of coffee.hahaha... after buying so many things then we ahead to hotel for some rest.










晚餐我们吃春卷,自己包自己吃。就只是春卷一样都可以吃得很饱很饱。吃完后我们就到咖啡厅去,是wan也就是kaka的女朋友父母开的。他们并没有和我们一起吃晚餐因为kaka去见wan的家长。忘了说,Dalat是wan的家乡。呵呵!kaka被我逮到一件很可笑的事。他和我们出去是都是穿拖鞋的,他赶回来接我们到wan的咖啡厅是被我看到他穿球鞋去。他说见家长时他很紧张因为这是第一次见家长。我把事情讲出来,每个人都一直笑他。敏说这样也可以让我看到。

dinner we ate spring roll, we roll it ourselves and eat it. only spring roll and we ate until so full. after that we went to cafe for coffee again. this cafe is wan's parent's cafe. they didn't follow us to dinner as kaka go and meet wan's parents. oh ya! Dalat is wan's birth place. haha... something very funny about kaka caught by me. usually when we go out together kaka only wear slippers and even hotel's slippers, but then when he go and bring us to Wan's cafe i saw he wear shoes and i point out and made everyone laugh at him. he says he very nervous when meet her parents because it was the first time he meet her parents. hahaha


hit by dao! kaka
















future boss and lady boss... hahaha




















喝完咖啡我们又到昨天哪个地方去散散步。猜我们吃了什么???哈哈。未成行的鸭蛋!哈哈。其实也没有我们想象中的那么恶心。我们一直叫Vu买给我们吃,我们便到一个小摊子,然后点鸭蛋。在那里吃鸭蛋是很普通的事,他们都当着正餐吃。那未成形鸭蛋的味道并没有那么的差,就像一般的蛋一样。我们还可以看到那鸭的毛,还有很幼很幼的骨头。吃在口里不会有感觉的啦!所以不是很恐怖。我们每个吃了都攒好吃。

after finishing our coffee we went back to yesterday the place for walking. guess what we tried??? we ate duck fetus!!! haha...it's not as horrible as what we though. we keep on call Vu buy for us, so we went to a small stall, then Vu bought it. the duck fetus is very normal in there, the local people eat it like a meal. the duck fetus is really not that scary, it taste just like normal eggs. we can see the feather and some bone in the fetus. but you won't feel it when you are eating in your mouth. all of us says it was nice!


dry barbeque squid


she tried to roll it and her legs was there


omg~ i am not very sure did the squid touched her legs...








duck eggs


pepper


brain? i'm not very sure






































enjoy the videos...