生活的意义。meaning of life

在我出发去赛城之前收到外公的死讯。
可是我还是回到赛城，因为有上课。
我想我妈也不会要我忽略我的学业。
一路上，心情很低落。
right before i went back to cyberjaya i get the death news of my grandfather.
but i still go back to cyberjaya, as i got class.
i know that my mom will not also let this to affect my studies.
i am so down along the way back.


上个星期五回到马六甲就马上去医院看我外公。
妈妈说外公一度停止心跳。
星期六晚上，妈妈的兄妹决定把外公带回外公家。
让他在他自己的家渡过最后的人生。
last friday i went back to malacca to visit my grandfather.
my mom says my grandfather heart beat stopped once.
on saturday night, siblings of my mom decided to bring my grandfather back to his own house.


每一次看到外公都会控制不住自己的情绪，泪如雨下。
every time i see my grandfather, i will not be able to control my feelings, and tears fall.


星期天妈妈叫我们去外公家，见见最后一面。
看到外公，有忍不住流泪。
走到他床边叫他，可是他并没有应我。
时不时睁开眼睛，一直看天花板上面。
我不知道他看到什么，很想知道。
很害怕那一刻会到来。
不知道我可不可以忍受在我眼前失去生命。
on sunday my mom call me go back and see my grandfather for the last time.
my tears just flow when i saw him.
i went to his bedside and called him, but he didn't respond to me.
he open his eyes once a while, but just keep looking on the celling.
i don't know what he is looking at, want to know so much.
i am so scared of that moment.
i don't know will i be able to see someone just pass away in front of me.


外公的子女全部赶得及回来见最后一面。
每个人叫他放心得走。
听了真的很难受。
那时我真的崩溃了。
all of my grandfather children is able to come back and see the one last time.
everyone is calling him to leave peacefully.
that was to sad.
i totally can't control my feeling that time.


到最后，我没有看到外公呼最后一口气。
我想我会很难接受。
at last, i didn't see my grandfather breath out the last breath.
i think i will feel very suffering.


还以为我回没有机会到我外公的丧礼。
他们把丧礼办到这个星期六。
就为了让我能够参加外公的丧礼。
毕竟我是外家长孙。
i thought i will not be able to attend my grandfather funeral.
then my relative decide to make the funeral until this saturday.
to let me attend his funeral.


要是到最后人会死，那又为何要活在这个世界上？
要是吃食物后又会拉粪，那又为何要吃呢？
if human will die at last, then what's the point to live in this world?
if we had food and the food will come out at feces, what's the point to eat?


我问的问题是一个没有答案的问题。
我很需要一个生活的意义。
the question i asked is a no answer question.
i need a meaning of life.