这里是我记载我的一点一滴的地方

人，有时就是很奇怪。

明明是自己做的事，却又一直叫人家不要这么做。

不是我故意要看她的部落格。

而是偏偏给我不小心看到。

我已经尽量避她避得远远的，可是她总是觉得我要跟她吵。

是她一直看我的部落格，然后写在自己的部落格说我在数落她。

还真不知道是谁在说谁。

很奇怪的，我的面子书没有add她，她却知道我的一举一动。

我部落格写的东西，她比我还清楚。

今天她传了封简讯给我，我在看球赛，比赛完毕后才注意到的。

她问我可不可以跟她谈谈？

过了不久又另一个简讯来。

意思是这样的：

我知道你不喜欢我，我现在传简讯给你，可能你会写在你的部落格或者是面子书。可是我要让你知道，我不要跟你吵。我不认识你。有关我在部落格写的那一篇，不是关于你，而是我的室友。那个你以为是你的那一篇，其实是另一个人。可是当时我很生气因为我跟你吵。我要结束这一切，对不起要是我伤害到你。我不要再跟你吵。如果你要你可以问我任何东西。我删除我的面子书和部落格。不想跟你吵。

我根本就没有给过她我的电话号码，她从哪里得到的我心知肚明。

我也从来没有跟她吵过，她想说什么就有她吧。

我写中文，她看不懂，可是并不代表她会不懂，因为自然而然会有人翻译给她。

如果她真的不要吵，她可以停止看我的面子书和部落格。

偏偏她就是喜欢看，然后自作多情的觉得我在写她，要跟她吵。

很重要的一句，她写：我不想再知道有关你的事。

意思就是这些日子她都很在乎有关我的一切。

真的，我看开了。

我也忘了多久没有跟ah y说话了。

也许他觉得这一切都是值得的。

有哪个人不是重色轻友的？

分不清是非的人，我又可以怎样。

对！我不喜欢她！不喜欢她的一切！

我不认识她！所以请她离我远一点！

请不要在关注我的一举一动。

她要说什么都可以，因为她说的都是对的。

就因为我看起来就是一副欺负人的样子，而她看起来就是懦弱被人欺负的样子；并不代表她不会欺负人，也不代表我不会被人欺负！

她如果真的不要吵，就不应该传简讯给我！就不应该在部落格写我，然后说她不是在写我！也不应该看我的部落格或面子书！

对！我会写在部落格，因为这里是我记载我的一点一滴的地方。

我说过了，只要她有回应，就表示她一直在注意我。

i dreamed a dream

i dreamed a dream.

it was still so clear.

i remember i was driving around melaka raya.

then at a junction it was change from 2 ways to 1 way.

i was unable to turn and have to take a big route.

and i was quite lost, not sure is't because i haven't been there for quite some time.

so i was turning and turning around that place...

and then i reach a place, and my friends was inside there.

those that i still remember were weiling and ky, and a few more which i guess will be jialing, chinfong.

in that dream, i was told by them that there will be a concert tonight at that area.

all of them had prepare a dress to wear that night.

and ky was showing her dress in blue and it was quite oversize for her as she is so thin.

then we were just playing around and i come out this suggestion.

i tell ky since the dress is quite bigsize for her why don't just let me try.

and as usual ky over-react-reaction came out and all of us just laugh.

i wasn't really like the dress nor i didn't think it was nice.

but just to bully ky and other of them just grab the dress from her and ask me to wear it.

so i wore it and walk out from the room to hall to show weiling.

in the other side, there were setting up the stage preparing for the concert.

it was as if right in front of our house and we can see it quite clearly.

then a band was standing up there rehearsal and prepare.

so as i wear out the dress and show weiling, i was noticed by 3 different man.

and they just walk over to the house we were in.

at the same time we didn't really notice about it cause we were busying bully ky.

3 of them just came it and was like attracted to me and all of us was stunned.

and 3 of them held my hand one by one.

i was stunned and have no reaction... so did my friends.

and they were actually some prince from some kingdom.

and their father which is the king actually stepped into the house.

this is just a dream and i woke up after appearance of the king.

3 of the prince were good looking but 3 of them have different characters.

and on that day it was so happy for me and everything went so well.

but i didn't expected that i was sent up to heaven and was pushed down the day after.

everything was just a dream and dream will always have happiness.

what i'm feeling??

i really don't know what i'm feeling right now.

everything seem to feel so wrong.

i can't sit well. can't sleep well. can't even lie down well. and also can't shit well.

i can't believe myself actually over nervous and too scare until i am having diarrhea right now!!

i don't know what will the result be.

and it is coming out in less then 1 hour time.

hate everything that need to count down.

but actually everything in our life is counting.

especially counting down till the time we gonna pass away.

i know i am craping but this really make me forget everything for a little while.

even thought it's only last for few second.

it was a relief actually and i really don't know how to handle these and face all this thing!!

i never felt so scared and nervous as like this before.

and all i want is just a pass. i don't mind if it's really only 50%.

i just wanna get over this year and able to go into 3rd year and i want to live my life totally different.

and only by passing this exam i will be able to move on.

i don't want to stuck at the same place anymore...

this is another turning point in my life.

either live or dead!

yes it's that serious!

i don't ever dare to think what i'm going to do if i fail.

please... although you will say failure is just a part of our life.

no please... no more...

i sincerely pray that i will pass this exam.

not only me and all of us pass this exam.

i bug my close friends to pray for me and i hope that it really work.

i really need this. so desperate and never as desperate as this before.

until all this typing and shouting out.

i still don't know what i'm feeling.

i hate this feeling!!!

my wedding?!

yesterday after my professional exam first SAQ paper, mya, wanda, gaya and i had lunch together in Arrif.
it's have been such a long time 4 of us actually sit and have lunch together.
mya says she wanted to study by herself when it was 2 months away from pro exam.
so our group left wanda, gaya and i 3 of us.
everything like get back to old time... even though we haven't sit down eat or talk together for such a long time.
guess that friendship is such a weird relationship.
you still able to talk and have good laugh even though haven't meet for quite some time.


my sister tag me in a post in facebook yesterday.
she was writing: Melissa Ting, last night i dreamt that i playing piano and alvin playing flute on ur wedding.. LMAO.. so nice sial! and i can remember was song sommor! and u have your wavy hair back but i forget where ur husband handsome o not d.. LOL

after i read her post i was like wth??!!!


and there goes my wall spam.

can't believe my sister actually dream of that.
and i don't even think that i will get married so soon or even get married.

AND SHE FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!!!
MY HUSBAND HANDSOME OR NOT?????????


and then my cousin start to join the conversation and wanted to join the band.
my sis play piano my bro play flute my cousin, jean play cello, another cousin, kevin play violin, little nephew can take over drum and at last another cousin ask weather he can join clarinet.

and from a little band become orchestra.

i was again like WTF?!
are you guys serious???
i don't even sure i will get married or not and you guys start all this nonsense!


actually i had wonder for quite some time weather i will be married or not.
my longest and the only relationship only last for half a year.
i admit that there are a few people who try to court me but at last i didn't be with them.
don't ask me why because i also don't know the reason.
when someone who court me ask why i can't be with them... i have no good reason.


i also can't be with someone for sometime.
i will start to feel bored towards him or i will feel irritated with everything he do.
maybe i am such a kind that want for the most perfect person.
i want this and i want that and he cannot be like this and like that.
that's why till now i not yet really found such people that really meet what i wish.
and i wonder am i able to find such guy.


sometimes i just feel that be friends is the most comfortable things.
there is no commitment and promise and by that i will not get disappointed or anything.
and the passion between 2 people will always be there.


maybe i have seen too many marriage which become so ugly at last.
maybe single is much better.
too many freedom and i can do anything i want.


so conclusion is:
Jennifer you can dream as much as you want! hahahaha!!
i'm not sure i will married or not or maybe at last i married because i want a baby! hahahaha!
this is more ridiculous!
or maybe you're the one who get married since now so many people dance in their wedding dinner and whatsoever and what you dreamt was your marriage right?! haha!!!

why my sis so funny?! sometimes just think of her and i can laugh for no reason.

p/s: maybe i'm in love with you lo hor jen! HAHAHAHA!!

holiday-tioman-diving

damn it!

i'm thinking about diving and Tioman!!!

this was exactly a year ago!

at first i was searching my diving log book.

i thought i lost it! wtf!

then i found...

and then i was searching my diving license!

it was in my wallet and i thought i misplace it else where.

after that i was wondering where is my cert.

or i don't even have a cert from the diving center? wtf again!?

somehow i have sexy lip. wtf?!

why i can't just thinking about my professional exam?

something about SAQ, MCQ, OSPE, OSCE

or more detail of CVS, NS, musculo or respi, reproductive bla bla bla...

this is what i suppose to think right now!

damn it!!

and my handsome-young-ang mo instructor!

i just wish it is over ASAP!

then i pass with enough-to-eat result.

and then i can go to Tioman! and DIVE!

or maybe taiwan?