While I was transferring the money, I can see from side eyes he is opening the door and holding few packets of snack on his hand. I guess he is trying to ask people to buy it. There is a big plastic bag beside him. It was quite big and it's in black and white square design and it is not transparent. Yet I guess inside it surely will be the snack he holding in his hand.
I really feel sad for him. How old is he? As what I guess from his height, he might be 7-8 years old as I mention earlier. I don't know if he is still studying or drop out from school. I don't know how is his family situation. I don't know how his life be.
After I done with my money transfer, I look into my wallet to see if there is any small change. If there is, I might bought the snack from him. There are RM 2 in my wallet. So as I walk out, he still mumbling but it was too soft, I totally cannot heard what he says but I am guessing he is saying 'tolong beli satu' (please buy 1), or something like that.
I ask him how much. He says RM 2. So I say give me 1 of it. He says something but it was too soft so I still can't heard what he says. But as I guess again, I think he is saying please buy more. So I say '1 is enough, thank you.' I heard he replied 'thank you' to me after I walked away.
How will you feel if you are the boy? I having this thought keep repeating in my mind. Will you willing to stand on the street, asking people to buy things from you? What is your feeling if you were him?
I really can't bear thinking about it. How pity was that? I shouldn't pity him because he did not robbed, he did not commit crime, he is just doing whatever he can for living. I should respect him. But yet, does he deserve all this? Is this the life he suppose to have? When other children of his age is playing happily at the playground, spending their parents money on junk food and fast food, learning musical instrumental like piano or guitar, going for tuition etc etc and the list go on and on. Yet, this little boy has to stand at the corridor selling snack maybe made by his mother.
How can a person life have such a huge different? I wanted to help yet that's my limit. Why there isn't any help from him? Let him study peacefully without have to worry about life. Without have him to stand at the corridor to sell snacks. I think he is mumbling and don't speak loudly because of low self-esteem. If it will be me who standing there selling snacks, I don't think I am able to look straight up to people.
So sad. So so sad. Yet, I just help him within my limits. I wish I already start working, maybe I will buy whole bag of his snacks. Maybe give some help to him. Maybe let him guide me to his house, looking their condition and find some welfare for them. I am blaming myself for not being great enough to help him...
So where is God at this time? Did god just 'give birth' to his people and do not care about life or death of them? Don't tell me this is his life. He is just a child and knows nothing! Yet he is suffering. God doesn't exist. If there is god, life wouldn't be so suffering. Life will be fair, fair among every people. No rich or poor, no pretty or ugly, no clever or stupid...
What is life? Did the boy ever feel unfairness? Did he ever asked why this is his life? Did he ever ask why he need to sell snacks on the street? Did he ever ask why people are so rich going in and out of the bank and he doesn't even have a bank account? I wish I were him, knowing what's his thought and feeling.
I wish he don't turn out to be bad guy or a criminal.
I wish his life get better day by day.
I wish he had education.
I wish his parents are good and not abusive.
I wish... I wish... I wish this is not the life he should go through......
RM 2 for such a little packet was quite expensive. But I did not think so much at that time. I really wish I have more power to help him......
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